As moms or moms-to-be, we've all been in situations where we didn't know how to act, or how to react, what to say, or what to do. Stephanie Elliot is a self-proclaimed humorist and expert on parenting and pregnancy. In a three-and-a-half year time frame, she attempted conception, gestated, labored, delivered, recovered from one C-section, coming out of a 'birthing coma', did it all over again (the second time vaginally), and then a third time, just for the heck of it. And now she's raising those three kids to the best of her abilities.

Stephanie hopes her insight will help you navigate your own daily mommy challenges. So, ask away—on any parenting or pregnancy topic—and she'll tell it like it is, with wit and wisdom, snark and soul, Manic Mommy style!

To submit your question to Stephanie, please click here to login or register.

Just Another Manic Mommy

Worried for My Baby's Vaccinations

Dear Manic Mommy: My daughter is scheduled for her 4-month vaccines next week. At her last doctor's appointment she had her 2-month shots and I was a wreck. Seeing her get shots and not being able to calm her down immediately was very upsetting to me. My daughter calmed down after a couple minutes but I couldn't stop crying for almost 10 minutes. My husband was there and remained completely calm. Do you have any suggestions to help me get through this appointment? I can't seem to get it off my mind and it's still a week away.

Thanks, Kristin

Manic Mommy: The first thought I had was, "Just let your husband deal with it." But then I came to my mommy senses and realized that is not an option for a first-time mom with her newborn. Although it causes you incredible pain, you WANT to be there, you HAVE to be there for your daughter. Read more on how to get through vaccinations...

Just Another Manic Mommy

I'm Getting Separated but Just Found Out I'm Pregnant

Dear Manic Mommy: This makes me a horrible person for even asking, but I need help. My husband and I have been on the rocks off and on and I finally came to the conclusion that I have had enough. I just found out that I am 14 weeks pregnant with my second child. I am due to start school full time in a few weeks for nursing and am working at a local bar. We are deciding to separate and everyone is upset with us for thinking it, which made us stay together in the past.

First, I had a few drinks the other night and am worried, but at the same time I am wondering if I should keep the baby? My husband is up in the air as well. WE are separating and having another baby. Is it a good idea? Also, with a 3-year-old how am I to be a good mom to him and do what I need to do to succeed? And how can I do it with another one? I have been thinking about abortion. Sometimes I think about my son having a sibling to go through this with him. I am also very depressed. How do I figure this out? I only have a few days to decide. Read more about finding out you're pregnant...

Just Another Manic Mommy

When is a Funeral Appropriate for a Child?

Dear Manic Mommy: My best friend's sister just passed away at age 37, leaving two young children behind. My daughter is 11 and wants to go to the funeral. My daughter did not know the woman very well, but is very close to my best friend's daughter and wants to be at the funeral for her friend. It is going to be an open casket, and my daughter has never been to a funeral before. What do you think I should do?

Signed, Distraught

Manic Mommy: First of all, I'm so very sorry about this tragedy. I hope your friend gets through her loss and that you're there to help her through it.

I personally would advise she not go to the funeral, and there are a few reasons for this. Read more about why a funeral isn't appropriate...

Just Another Manic Mommy

Birthday Party Dilemma!

Dear Manic Mommy: You have kids - help! I want to make sure that we don't have to pay for all my daughter's friend's siblings at her birthday bowling party. Can I write on the invitation that they are invited to come along, but they have to pay for them? Have you ever done that?

Signed, Juli K.

Manic Mommy: Hi Juli, birthdays are so hard when it comes to figuring out who to invite, and who's feelings might get hurt. I think it's great that you want to include everyone, and I also completely understand that it can get very expensive! Why don't you word the invitations like this:

Read more about the birthday party dilemma...

Just Another Manic Mommy

Evil Stepmother?

Dear Manic Mommy: I have been married to my husband almost six years now and prior to our marriage we dated for three years. When we met my daughter was two, and his daughter was nine and his son seven. A year after our wedding we had our daughter who is now 4. My question concerns my relationship with his children.

His son and I have never been close, but his daughter and I were very close up until about 10 months ago. A lot has happened but it basically comes down to the fact that she has become very religious (I am not) and acts disrespectful towards me and righteous. I don't like being around her anymore because I feel I can't be myself and I don't like for her to be around "my" girls because I am afraid she will turn them against me too! Read more about feeling like an evil stepmother...

Just Another Manic Mommy

Lots of Issues to Deal With

Dear Manic Mommy: My oldest son is three and he's in Pull-ups. How do I potty train him? Also, he throws a fit at times. He will scream or throw things. I don't know how to deal with him when he does these things, what should I do? I can't control him. My other baby is 6 months and he's learning how to crawl, and my oldest wants to play with him but he's too rough. I'm a single mom so things are hard for me.

Manic Mommy: Hi, well, it sounds like you've got a lot of issues to deal with and having a 3-year-old and a 6-month-old is keeping you very busy! Let's see if I can answer some of your questions!

Regarding potty training, check out this link on some previous advice I offered another mom of a 3-year old. He may also not be interested right now because of the arrival of his little brother. Many times when there's an addition to the family, the older child will revert back to younger ways, or not want to "grow up" for the fear of not getting the attention he used to get. Read more about having a lot of issues to deal with...

Just Another Manic Mommy

Wanting Only the Best

Dear Manic Mommy: I have a 15-month-old boy and I want the best out of him. I want him to grow up with responsibility. How do I raise him without spoiling him? He is the best I have.

Manic Mommy: I think it's wonderful that you want the best for your son. That's all we parents can ever hope for in our children! As far as raising him without spoiling him, I think you've answered your own question within. You know you want the best out of him AND for him; you know he's the best you have. Don't try to make him an over-achiever. Don't put too much pressure on him. Don't make your expectations too high. He's 15 months old. Love him, play with him, enjoy him, and be fascinated by him. Let him be your baby. The rest will come naturally.

Just Another Manic Mommy

Eff Bomb on the Bus

Dear Manic Mommy: There's a kid who has been saying bad words to my son on the bus, REALLY bad words. My son comes home from school and tells me that this boy is saying bad words to him, and he also asks if I would please tell his mother that her son is swearing. How should I handle it? I don't know the mom very well and I don't want to get into a confrontation.

Manic Mommy: Something like this recently occurred with Manic Mommy's own children and I can tell you this kind of stuff REALLY angers the lioness in me! But going to the mother would do absolutely nothing. If the kid is a swearer, he's probably a liar too. When this happened to my son Tukey, the kid whispered the bad phrase, so it was obvious he knew what he was doing was something he would get in trouble for doing. Read more about the eff bomb on the bus...

Just Another Manic Mommy

The Unfortunate Father

Dear Manic Mommy: How do you explain to your child that his father simply didn't want to be with his mother, and therefore opted out of the child's life as well? Absent father pays child support by court order, but doesn't want to be involved. He is currently planning a family with another person.

Manic Mommy: First of all, I'm sorry that you're having these difficulties in your life. I am sure it's a troubling time for you and your son and I hope you have support from other family members and good friends.

The good news is that families come in so many different combinations that raising your son on your own is not something that will be frowned upon in society or looked at as an oddity. And honestly, if the father is that uncaring to his own child, you really have to ask yourself if you want him in your son's life? Read more about the unfortunate father...

Just Another Manic Mommy

Fear of Dogs

Dear Manic Mommy: My daughter is almost 5 years old and gets hysterical if she sees a dog. I've seen too many children and adults bitten by dogs to be a dog lover myself. However, independent of that, my daughter is old enough to know that dogs can bite. To her, it's scary having a large, four-legged hairy animal charge to her, circle around her, lick her and bark loudly in her face. Another mom in our community recently took in a dog. The dog ended up mauling her toddler right in front of her. The child needed 200 stitches. How do I manage to protect my child but not create a phobia?

Manic Mommy: Well, first of all, I do hope the neighbor whose child was injured has sent that dog somewhere else - possibly to a new home without children!

My neighbor's son was terrified of dogs, much like your daughter is. He would cry at the sight of any type of dog, no matter how small or large. And then, one day, she told me they were going to get a dog. I couldn't believe it! Why would she subject her son to a dog when she knew how afraid he was of them? I thought it was not a very good idea. I was wrong! The family got a dog, and mind you, it is not a small dog. Her son got used to their new pet and is now no longer afraid of dogs.

I'm not saying go out and buy your daughter a dog to cure her phobia. I'm just giving you an example that perhaps she will outgrow this phobia. Also perhaps, she senses that you are not a fan of dogs and she is taking clues from you on how to react when she sees a dog?

You might want to introduce her to some of the smaller dogs in your neighborhood and let her pet them or maybe take her to a pet shop so she can see and pet some of the smaller puppies. This way she can get used to dogs. Dogs are everywhere. Eventually, she will have to either get used to the animal or stay away from them completely, which, in this day and age of dogs being Man's Best Friend, it seems pretty impossible as so many families do have dogs as pets.

You say your daughter is old enough to know that dogs can bite. So, she's old enough to know to stay away from them. My thought is that if she is not around antagonizing a dog, it probably won't come near her to bother her. Most pet owners do keep their dogs on leashes (at least where I live). Just use caution if you come face-to-face with an animal, and in the meantime, I do think it's a good idea to round up a friendly pup and get her used to petting a dog. You never know, she might surprise you. My guess is that by the time she's 10, she will be begging you for a dog of her own! Best of luck!

Just Another Manic Mommy

I'm Worried about My Kids

Dear Manic Mommy: My kids are just 4 and 3. Sometimes, I worry about how easily it would be for a stocking-headed predator to come into their preschool, grab a child, and drive away with him/her. The classroom doors remain unlocked. The teachers are female. I don't know if I'll feel differently when my kids get older. I see the kids in elementary school playing on the other side of the soccer field near the street where cars speed by to the freeway. The teachers can never be within arm's reach of every child. Can you count on a bystander to witness an abduction, be able to read the license plate clearly, describe the exact car?

Child molesters are prohibited from living near schools but they can still hang out and watch them from the perimeters. Kids don't have a GPS device embedded in their bodies. How could you prevent them from being abducted and never found? There are pictures of missing kids on milk cartons. There are child molesters in every community even the nice one
where we live. If I address the issue with the teachers and other moms, they may think I'm paranoid and not want to cause fear in the children. But are we naively turning a blind eye on a reality that could have devastating consequences? Do other moms out there have these worries when they drop their kids off?

Manic Mommy: Well, I do think some of your concerns are normal and natural worries that all mothers have.

I'll discuss the easy stuff first:

You mention your school remains unlocked. There's no reason you can't bring your concerns to the PTO about getting a security system into place. Our school recently had a system installed. Our school also has prepared plans in case of classroom emergencies. If you discuss your concerns with the heads of your district, or with some of the mothers you trust and know feel the same way you do, I bet you can get a plan into action. You may be surprised as to how many moms feel the same way as you do about school security but are possibly embarrassed to share their concerns. They are YOUR children. You have an absolute right to do everything in your power to find ways to keep them safe.

Now the more serious aspect to your question:

If these worries you are talking about are preoccupying you all the time when your children are not in your sight, then there may be other factors to take into account.

I do worry about my children too. I worry if we're in McDonald's what if someone with a gun comes in how will I protect them? Or even, as you mentioned, what if something bad happens to them while they're at school and I am not there to keep them safe. These are common worries that we all have. But they are FLEETING moments that I have. They do not consume me.

You have to ask yourself: Are these thoughts and worries consuming me?

If the fear is taking hold of your life, preventing you from enjoying the things you are meant to enjoy, then you may need to discuss this with a professional. I have been on anti-anxiety medicine for other reasons, and if you feel like your fears are preventing you from living your life the way it's meant to be lived and enjoyed, you might want to schedule an appointment with your doctor to discuss these very personal concerns.

There are the situations in life that we have total control over, and then there are situations we have no control over. Do what you can to control what you can to keep your children from harm's way.

I love that prayer, God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

And remember, mother's instinct is a very powerful tool! Use it!

Just Another Manic Mommy

Am I Pregnant with Twins?

Dear Manic Mommy: Hi, I am 45 years old, have had two ectopic pregnancies and two naturals. Now I'm going through pre-menopause; is it possible to get pregnant even if you just have two ovaries and a piece of tube? Because I think I am pregnant with twins yet I keep getting negative pregnancy tests. Please help before I start thinking I am crazy.

Manic Mommy: Hello there! I'm really sorry to say I can't answer this for you and the only way you'll be able to find out for sure is with a visit to your doctor. What I'm wondering is why you haven't been to a doctor yet and why you think you may be pregnant with twins, but it's not my place to be asking the questions here - I'm the one who is supposed to be answering them!

Even if I was a doctor, I don't think I would have the knowledge to be able to answer this without you being seen in the office. I think the best piece of advice I can give to you is for you to pick up the phone and call your OB immediately so you can put your fears to rest or start planning for your baby or babies. I wish you the best!

Just Another Manic Mommy

Finding Personal Happiness Again

Dear Manic Mommy: How do I get through the day to day parenting? I love my children but I have a hard time accepting that I am a parent. I have no more life, identity, no sense of self. Every day I want to stay in bed and not get up and have to deal with the kids. First thing in the morning, I get instant attitude from my 6-year-old and there is also constant fighting between the 6- and the 3-year-old. I have no more drive or desire to do anything. I no longer have any interests, hobbies or anything that leaves me happy or satisfied. How do I get through this? Do other moms feel the same? How do I get back to personal happiness?

Manic Mommy: I could have written this letter exactly as you have expressed it here about six years ago. My kids were then 5, 4 and 2 and I did not want to get out of bed. I felt JUST LIKE YOU. I felt I had no purpose. I remember telling my husband I wanted to get a waitressing job so I could go out and talk to adults and have something to look forward to. Truly. I know what you're going through. What did I do? Like you, I reached out for help. I found a great doctor, and I told her everything. How I felt, why I felt the way I did. I told her I loved my kids, BUT ... I wanted more. I deserved more. And so do you!

Together we discussed options and she put me on a low-dose anti-depressant that I am still on today. She explained the situation like this: if there was something wrong with my kidneys, she would give me medicine to help me. There was obviously something wrong in my brain - I was depressed, and I needed a medication to help me get through what I was going through.

It has helped me. I remember before the medication, I would flip out if one of my kids spilled milk or made a mess. I would scream like it was the biggest deal in the world. After the medication began to work, I noticed a change. The first time one of my kids did something that would usually have me flipping out, I didn't react the way I used to. It was like I could handle LIFE again. I could function as a human being and felt like I had some control back in my life. It was what I needed.

Then I felt confident enough to start pursuing hobbies and interests. I took a writing class. I took a yoga class. To be a good mom, you have to be a happy mom. You have to take time for yourself in order to be the best mom you can be. There are some moms who give and give and give and then there's nothing left for them and they're left feeling empty. I'm not saying this is a description of you, but it's not where you want to be. I know, because I was there, and feeling empty and alone as a mother is not a good place to be. Especially when there is so much love to be received from our children!

I'm glad you asked for help. It's a start, and I do hope you seek further help. I will tell you that if you look into anti-depressants, be sure to talk with your doctor and do your research! And if you start taking anti-depressants, it will take a while before your brain starts getting used to them. It doesn't happen overnight, and it's hard to get used to everything being altered, and you may want to quit taking them; you may think they might not be working, but for me, and for many other women I know, after your serotonin levels regulate, you will feel like the person you know you are meant to be - a happy and satisfied mother!

Just Another Manic Mommy

Pumping the Iron While Pregnant

Dear Manic Mommy: Hello there. I am in the third trimester of my first pregnancy and my doctor's office just called and informed me that there was a prescription to be picked up at my local pharmacy due to my low iron levels. And that was all that was really said. How much should I be worrying? And can my low levels cause serious harm to my baby?

Manic Mommy: I don't think there's anything seriously the matter here, otherwise the doctor would have called you in. However, you should ALWAYS feel comfortable enough to call your OB-GYN anytime you are unsure about anything in your pregnancy. NEVER think that a question is too silly or unimportant when it comes to your baby's health. It's your baby, your body, and you have absolutely every right to know what's going on. I would hope that you have resolved this issue already and have talked with a nurse at your OB's office or your OB by now! As for your low iron problem, some quick iron boosters: include more red meats and leafy greens into your diet.

Just Another Manic Mommy

When Did I Ovulate?

Dear Manic Mommy: If my period came on the 15th of August, that means I ovulate on or around what date? I am very confused so please give me a close answer so I can stop wondering and being stressed out.

Signed, Confused

Manic Mommy: Generally, a woman ovulates anywhere between 11 to 21 days from the start date of her period so you would count August 15 as DAY 1. This would mean that August 25 is DAY 11. But, keep in mind that ALL women ovulate at different times depending on the length of their cycles, so you might want to refer to the American Pregnancy Association for further information.

Just Another Manic Mommy

Screaming and Crying and Whining ... Oh My!

Dear Manic Mommy: Hi, my 4-yea r-old daughter screams and whines at the top of her lungs when she accidentally hurts someone and they react loudly. I have explained all she had to do is say sorry, but she still flips out at the reaction she gets. Help!

Manic Mommy: How often is this happening? Is this a daily occurrence? Does she accidentally hurt adults or do you mean during playtime with other children? The next time she behaves this way, remove her from the situation and take her to a room separate from the activity. Explain to her that you will not tolerate her screaming and whining at the top of her lungs. The problem is not that she's hurting others, unless it is happening more often than you mention, and if it is being done maliciously, which I do not think is the case here. The problem is you don't want her screaming and whining, right?

Take her into another room, and tell her to stop flipping out. She'll eventually stop. Or she'll stay there, and she'll probably still scream until she gets tired. Do this a few times and she'll realize that it's more fun to be with the other kids playing than it is to be in the other room screaming. And it's great that you explain to her that all she needs to do is apologize and that the screaming is unnecessary. Keep encouraging that - it's a great strategy and a good thing for everyone to learn early on!

Just Another Manic Mommy

Emotions Are Ready to Spill Out!

Dear Manic Mommy: I am pregnant and as you may know, we get really sensitive and I cry a lot now that I am almost due. I have a lot of things that I hold inside and keep to myself and I have not told my mom. What I want to know is should I let everything out or just keep it inside?

Manic Mommy: When you say that you have not told your mom, do you mean that you have not told your mom that you are pregnant, or that you have not told your mom that you're keeping all of these emotions inside? If you haven't told your mom that you are pregnant, and you are almost due, then you should tell her now. She may be a very good support person for you.

If you're talking about just needing to share your emotions with someone, you should tell  your mom what's on your mind. There are so many hormonal changes that happen during pregnancy and the littlest thing can set a pregnant woman off, for no reason at all. And as abnormal as it may seem, it's really all very normal to be feeling and acting this way.

What you need to do is if you're feeling like you need help from someone, take that step and ask for help. Seek out your friends and family and share your emotions and feelings, and the things that are bothering you with the people you trust and love. I think since you've sent a note to me, that you've taken that first step, and you're on your way to feeling better. Good luck in the final stages of your pregnancy!

Just Another Manic Mommy

Are Diabetes Hereditary?

Dear Manic Mommy: I just found out I am pregnant. My boyfriend has diabetes. What are the chances the baby will have diabetes?

Manic Mommy: Check out this article on the American Diabetes Association Web site.

Just Another Manic Mommy

Afraid to Tell My Husband!

Dear Manic Mommy: I just found out that I am pregnant and am having a hard time trying to think of a way to tell my husband. We weren't planning on becoming pregnant so soon and I am not sure how ready we are to be parents. We don't believe in abortion and after carrying a child for nine months I couldn't give it up for adoption. We will make due. I just don't know a subtle way to tell him.

Manic Mommy: First of all, I'm thrilled to know that you're not planning on aborting your baby or giving him or her up for adoption just because you are unprepared at the moment to become parents. But your question does concern me a little because wouldn't your husband know that there's a possibility you could become pregnant? He was there, yes?

Did he know there was no birth control plan in place? I know you're not looking for a lecture, and I'm not one to lecture, so I won't!

Since you're looking for a subtle way to share the news with your husband, why don't you tell him at a quiet time in the evening, perhaps when you are both settled into bed. You can start by saying, "Honey, remember that night I told you it was OK if you didn't wear a condom?" ... That is pretty subtle and maybe he'll get the hint without you having to blurt out "I'm pregnant!"

Then you can ease into the conversation slowly and quietly. And hopefully, happily and with some excitement of what the future will bring with the joys of a baby! Wishing you the best of luck with your family!

Just Another Manic Mommy

How Do They Get in There?

Dear Manic Mommy: My daughter is 5 years old. She wants to know how babies get into the mommy's belly. What is the simplest answer to that question?

Manic Mommy: I remember making this parenting mistake: telling too much too soon. When my son was about 2, he was on the potty and he grabbed at his stuff and asked, "Mommy, what are these?" And I answered, "Those are your testicles." WHOA! Why did I tell him THAT!? Immediately after, I worried that at the next playgroup he would bare all his nudy stuff and start yelling, "Testicles! These are my testicles! Look at my testicles!" I feared I told him too much too soon.

So, in response to your daughter's question, I'd opt for the simple answer. Maybe tell her something like that when mommies and daddies love one another (or get really drunk - of course, I'M JUST KIDDING!) they decide to have a baby. Or, depending on religious beliefs, you can say that God makes it happen. Or you can say that when mommies and daddies get close that shows God that they want to have a baby. You can also go the plant and the seed route and explain how a flower grows with a seed and some water, and then ask her if she wants to go get some flower seeds to plant. That way you can divert her attention so she won't be thinking about sex anymore!

Basically, only share enough to appease her for that moment. And after you answer her question the way you see fit, immediately ask her if she wants some ice cream. That should stop further questioning for the time being.

Just Another Manic Mommy

To School in a Diaper?

Dear Manic Mommy: What is the easiest way to potty-train a 3-year-old boy? He has no interest at all and is going to be attending school. I can't send him in a diaper!

Manic Mommy: Potty training + No Interest = Not Going to Happen. I truly believe at this age, he knows and it's a battle of the wills. And he's got the will of a 3-year-old so he will win. For school, which I am assuming is preschool, I'm hoping they'll allow Pull-Ups, especially if he is an early 3-year-old.

As for training, don't try to play games. Don't try to make it fun for him. Tell him, "Hey, you're 3. If you want to start doing what big kids do, you have got to start peeing in the toilet."

If he senses that you're serious, he'll realize that you mean business. If not, and he doesn't care, then don't fret. Everyone eventually learns to use the toilet, and boys do take longer than girls.

Just Another Manic Mommy

Under Pressure!

Dear Manic Mommy: Hi how are you? I am 28 weeks pregnant and I have been feeling pressure down in my pelvic area for about a week and mild Braxton Hicks contractions. I know Braxton Hicks are normal, but I don't think the pressure is. I have two other kids but I don't remember experiencing this with them. What can it be?

Manic Mommy: Hey! I'm great, thank you for asking. And congrats on your third pregnancy! Third time's a charm, that's for sure. I wouldn't worry too much about the low pressure, but you should mention it to your doctor at your next visit. Very likely it's your ligaments stretching in preparation for the baby. I remember that excruciating pain down really low, how it almost felt like your vagina was going to fall out of your body, right? Isn't that how it feels? It's crazy stuff!

And with all the day-to-day stuff you're already doing with two kids, and having had two pregnancies already, everything with the third pregnancy is so much more pronounced and everything in your body is so much more stretched.

I know it's not that easy to do, but take more breaks during the day and rest as much as you can. Lots of luck and the third baby ROCKS! Have fun with your sweetie pie! Now go lie down!

Just Another Manic Mommy

Crampin' My Style

Dear Manic Mommy: I am having sharp cramps in my lower abdomen and I am only four weeks pregnant. Do you have any suggestions?

Manic Mommy: It could be implantation of the embryo, but I would bring up your concern with your doctor at your next appointment. As long as you're not bleeding or keeled over in excruciating pain, the cramps are probably just a normal pregnancy symptom.

Just Another Manic Mommy

The Crystal Ball Says ...

Dear Manic Mommy: I'm having these symptoms: lightheadedness, bloating, fatigue, nausea, headaches and cramping but my period isn't due for another week. What do you think it is?

Manic Mommy: You didn't mention to me at all about when you had sex during your cycle so I can't even begin to guess at that, nor should I because I am not a doctor or a psychic (and anyway, I think psychics are a crock!). You could be pregnant or these could just be premenstrual symptoms. Many times pregnancy symptoms mask period symptoms, with tender boobs, emotional outbursts, even cramps. The only way to know for sure is to take a pregnancy test around the time your period is due (or ask a psychic you trust!). Good luck and I hope you get the result you're looking for!

Just Another Manic Mommy

My Daughter's OD'ing on Sugar!

Dear Manic Mommy: I'm an experienced intermediate teacher. I have four kids: three girls (8, 10 and 12) and a 2-year-old boy. My 12-year-old has always been given a lot of responsibility but now she has started to behave extremely badly. She breaks her things, wastes her food, shouts, hits the kids and now she is overdosing on sweets. Last night she took seven multivitamins and I panicked because she has a scarred kidney. I don't understand how to bring her back. I reason and explain everything but she just rebels more. Her teachers love her and she is given a lot of responsibility. She did well this year at school.

Manic Mommy: I'm also the oldest child of four and I grew up with a ton of responsibility, some of which I came to resent, so I can see how that could be bothering your daughter to some extent. But I never felt the urge to break things or hurt my siblings. She's definitely seeking attention, but in the wrong way.

The one thing that struck me in your question was that your daughter was overdosing on sweets. Do you think the added sugar in her diet could be a factor in the change in her behavior? I definitely think you should talk to her school counselor or make an appointment with her pediatrician. Puberty is a very awkward weird, strange, uncomfortable time in a girl's life, and there's certainly something going on that needs to be addressed. At her age, she is mature enough to not be regressing the way you are saying that she is, and her behavior seems off for someone who has previously acted so normal. I hope everything works out and you get her back to her old self.

Just Another Manic Mommy

She's Not Talking about the Baby Bottle

Dear Manic Mommy: Is drinking wine OK, and how much a week? I'm 13 weeks pregnant, and due in February.

Manic Mommy: Drinking wine or anything alcoholic is never OK while pregnant, and if you are asking if you can, and how much you can, you need to discuss this urge of yours with your doctor immediately, if not for your own health, for the health of your unborn baby, please.

Just Another Manic Mommy

I Want a Dog!

Dear Manic Mommy: How can I get my parents to buy me a dog? I know the reason they won't get me one, because my mom said I don't keep my room clean. I wrote my mom and dad a letter saying that if I keep my room clean until my friend's dog has her puppies then I should get one, right? But they don't want to hear it. I also said that if the house continues to be unkempt they could take the dog back. Reply quickly.

Manic Mommy: Oh honey, you have chosen the wrong advice columnist to ask this question because I am soooo on your mom's side on this one! My kids ask me for a dog all of the time too and I tell my kids the same thing your mom tells you: I don't want to hear it. They can't even make their own beds so I KNOW they are never going to care for a puppy. We've even had my mom and dad's dog, Lovey, spend the summer with us, and guess who took care of Lovey all summer long? Yep, me. Unless your parents want a dog too, I'm very sorry to break the news to you that you're probably not going to get one, no matter how clean your room is. But you should still clean your room!

Just Another Manic Mommy

DNA Stands for Don't Know Answer!

Dear Manic Mommy: I was pregnant when my ex-husband asked me to do a DNA test for my second child. The test results showed that he was not the father. Could me being pregnant with the baby that's not his affected the testing results?

Manic Mommy: I don't think so, but this is not a question I would really know the answer to. You should contact the place where you had the testing done and ask the staff there. Sorry I can't help you on this one.

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