This week on AskMen, relationship writer Andrea Madison lays out eight dating insecurities women sometimes suffer. Before you get all up in arms about women being confident, strong, sexually secure beings and why would anyone dare suggest otherwise?!, let’s acknowledge that it’s normal for women and men to have stressy thoughts when it comes to the emotional complexities of relationships. If you didn’t, you’d be a robot. Or Ryan Seacrest.

Instead of blaming ladies for being dating weaklings, Andrea gives guys eight simple steps to reassure women and boost their dating confidence. (Yaytime!) Because that should be the point of every relationship, right? To make your partner feel happy and secure so that happiness and security will be reflected back upon you? Can we get a copy of this article sent to every man in America?

In case that mailing’s not in this year’s budget, here are my suggestions on how to problem-solve those eight dating insecurities yourself. These are DIY-fixes; no man necessary. The dating gods help those who help themselves!

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1. Your insecurity: He might not call you after a date.

Your fix: Wait two days, then call him. (If you phone 15 minutes after a date, you risk looking like a lady who boils bunnies. If you wait a week, you risk him doubting your interest.) His quick response (or lack thereof) will give you your answer – no need to agonize longer than necessary.  

2. Your insecurity: He might just want you for sex.

Your fix: Use him just for sex. If you’re not down with that – don’t sleep with him. (Seriously, this one’s a no-brainer.) If you’re really worried that he might only be interest in banging, then have a conversation before you sneak into the sheets explaining what you want and expect (monogamy? breakfast in bed? $1.7 million?) from the person you’re sleeping with.

3. Your insecurity: He’s dating other women.

Your fix: Date other men. Please, I am begging you. Until you’ve both committed to each other completely, you should not give away your exclusivity (women do this constantly to their great detriment). Now, if you’re in a committed relationship and you think he’s playing you – see number five below.