Forgive me if I sound like a cynic, but I’ve been immersed in the celebrity world for way too long to believe that sh** happens – without a payout, that is. Bad things that could potentially showcase a celeb in a VERY positive light typically occur right around the time there’s an album, a TV show, a film or a tour to promote. This is why I believe Christina Aguilera’s imminent divorce is more a case of strategic planning than an untimely, unhappy personal misfortune.

Read Mean Betty on Christina Aguilera’s Break Up

Yeah, yeah, yeah – we all know Xtina can sing and dance. In fact, she can get pretty “Drrrty” when she’s letting out her inner “Genie in a Bottle.” But does she actually have the potential to be a good actress? Given the fabulously cheesy trailer for her first major movie, Burlesque (which premiered Nov. 15 in LA) I’d gather the answer to that particular question is a resounding ‘hell no!’ But are audience members going to care that Christina can’t act her way out of a paper bag if they’re busy feeling sympathetic that she’s about to become a single mom? Duh, of course not!

My guess is that most reviewers are going to slam the film as an over the top, campy cheesefest. (Um, hello, could anything starring Cher and Christina singing and dancing in corsets and crimson lipstick be anything but)? However much the movie may suck, perhaps the reviews will be ever so slightly more skewed in Ms. A’s favor now that she’s going through the big “D.”