Why Don't Guys Wear Engagement Rings?

If women wear a symbol that tells the world "we're taken” why don't men have something similar?

Why Don’t Guys Wear Engagement Rings?

If we wear a symbol that tells the world “we’re taken” why don’t men have something similar?

-PJ Gach

kim kardashian engagement ring

After choking over the photos of Kim Kardashian’s engagement ring, I started wondering why guys don’t wear some sort of symbol that says they’re going to get married too. Seriously. If we’re out and about, we know by looking at a woman’s hand that she’s on her way to the altar. However, we’re clueless when it comes to men. You could be chatting up some hottie in a bar and have no idea that he’s just days away from the altar unless one of his friends comes up and says something.

You think that’s just hypothetical? It happened to me. I’m at the old Kiss and Fly club in New York City, chatting away to a very cute guy, who by the way just bought me a drink and kissed me on the cheek, when a friend of his comes over and says, “Dude, what are you doing? You’re getting married this weekend.”

A ring — or anything (neon sign over his head perhaps?) — would have helped me out immensely. At the time I did what any sane woman would do in that sitch. I ran. I ran as fast as my little legs would take me. All the way out of the bar and then all the way home. Why? Experience has shown me that if there’s a guy wondering why an affianced male is chatting up a woman, then the enraged fiancé is never far behind.

Read Why I Will NEVER Blind Date Again!

You know when you meet a guy, you want to flirt a little, laugh a little, and have a good time. You want to get to know him a bit before you fork over your digits. You don’t want to, say within the first three minutes or so, demand to know if he’s been picking out china patterns at Pottery Barn lately. That would be awkward.

Hang on a minute! You know when you meet guys, guys who are either in the finance, banking or Wall Street-type industries, they ask you if you own, rent, where you live and what you drive within the first three minute of meeting them. Why can’t we turn the tables on them! Why don’t we ask them if they’re married, engaged or single?

You know why? It’s because we’re too nice.

If we weren’t raised to be nice, we would demand that our fiancés would wear a ring or have a giant tattoo on their forehead stating that they were going to get married. If they had a symbol on their forehead, or a giant honking ring (or a set of handcuffs, your choice), perhaps they wouldn’t chat up unsuspecting women wearing shoes that weren’t made for sprinting.

So, to save our shoes, and our mental and physical health, let’s make men wear engagement rings! It’s much cheaper and lighter than carrying around a lie detector test.

PJ Gach is Senior Editor: Style + Beauty at BettyConfidential.

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0 thoughts on “Why Don't Guys Wear Engagement Rings?

  1. It’s not that we’re too nice – it’s that we know if we push the issue the guy can say, “or why don’t neither of us wear rings”. The engagement ring may be sexist, but how many women do you know will turn down the diamond to make a point?

  2. The reason for which women are endowed with engagement rings is historical. Should she accept a proposal from a man, this means that she is “off the market” and must decline offers from other eligible men (dating back to a time in which a woman and a man were fairly well engaged without ever having been alone together). The ring was sort of a down payment, or a guarantee that the wedding would take place. The idea being that therefore he would not simply run to another port and make false promises to some other longing maiden, there. He had to prove he was serious. If he did end up abandoning the bride (and therefore damaging her prospects of future engagements: it could be assumed that there was something wrong with her that the marriage was not effected), in the very least, she had a diamond which to sell, and possibly sustain her for some time in the future. IMHO, the whole thing is archaic, and no diamond is worth the suffering it takes to mine it.

  3. The ring is a trophy for the girl, guys who for the most part are not into jewelry unless they are from Jersey Shores see it as bragging and superficial. Most guys also have a need to be candid, even if they are crazy about you and brag about you to friends and family he is still protective of information about him and those he cares about.

    Most men would get rid of the ring altogether if given the option. Further, even if we don’t day so most of us are annoyed that women use it to brag, to say mine is bigger than yours or to proclaim I scored a guy who is willing to go into debt and financial hardship for my hand.

    Guys being practical would have rather bought tools or a new car or a big screen TV, he wants things that are functional and rings do not fulfill any of those needs for him. He may not admit it but to most guys even if they say otherwise the engagement ring is a waste of money that he is supposed to spend as a prize for you.

    The wedding ring on the other hand is a whole different subject.

  4. Instead of campaigning for men to have a ring, how about reading the riot act to the men who don’t tell women that they’re engaged yet still flirt? Not all men are like that. I don’t believe in changing things because of a few bad apples.

  5. Even wedding bands on married men is a recent phenomenon. Historically, marriage did not change the legal (or even social) status of a man, like it did a woman. In the majority of the world throughout history, men have been free to take additional wives, or at least concubines or mistresses, in addition to their first wife. In any case, perhaps feminists would like engaged and married men to wear the covering like Islamic women do, to avoid a situation, God forbid!, in which the man might enjoy the attentions and flirting of another woman. Amazing how puritantical Americans have become recently about some things, and reprobate about others.

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