When Is It Okay To Interfere In Something That’s None of My Business?
Not all is right with your friend and her guy… but is it your place to interfere? The Mouthy Housewives answer.
-The Mouthy Housewives
Joining us here at BettyConfidential … The Mouthy Housewives! These lovely models of decorum (Kelcey, Wendi, Marinka, Kristine and Tonya) want our lives to be as fabulous as theirs, thus they’re happy to ignore their families to give us smart, cheeky advice. So pop open a box of rosé, put on your favorite Barry Manilow CD and let the Housewives Swiffer away your troubles … Every week they’ll be answering burning questions from readers.
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
My friend has always had a lot of male friends and colleagues, and she is pretty affectionate towards all of them. She found a boyfriend at the beginning of the year, who most of her friends know well (me included), and while they’re adorable together and most everyone is certain that they love each other, not all is right with the guy, and possibly not with her either. He’s an upstanding guy with a good reputation, but she and his past girlfriends say that he’s emotionally dependent. He is not a violent or abusive person, but as their mutual friend I think it hurts him to see her fill her social life. What should I do?
I’m Not Snooping, I’m Something Else Entirely
Dear Yeah Right,
Normally I find it somewhat endearing when friends are concerned about the relationships of their friends, but there’s something about this scenario that’s striking me as…fishy. I think it’s because I can’t tell if you’re more worried about his well-being or hers, and I think that there’s an underlying issue at work here.
Let’s play armchair psychiatrist for just a moment to see if we can crack the code.
Me: How do you feel about your friend’s affectionate behavior toward her mostly-male friend base?
You: I think it’s inappropriate and that she’s probably a whore.
See? I think we’re really getting somewhere here. Let’s keep going…
Me: When you think of her boyfriend seeing her behavior, what goes through your mind?
You: That he’s got some issues that are likely being triggered by her behavior and OH GOD I WOULD BE SO GOOD TO HIM WHY DOESN’T HE SEE ME?!
I think that’s enough for this week’s session.
The bottom line here is that this is not your problem to handle. It seems to me* that they both have some emotional baggage which needs to be sorted independently. For this reason, your intervention will do nothing to improve the situation, if it’s even one that needs improving to begin with.
*I am not a trained psychologist, I just play one on the Internet.
The Mouthy Housewives spend our days solving the world’s problems and our nights playing classical piano and reading fine literature. Or maybe just yelling at reality TV shows. Need our help? Send your question to firstname.lastname@example.org. (All questions are confidential.) And you can find more smart, cheeky advice at The Mouthy Housewives.