Lauren Rich is an online dating veteran (the "newbie" can be found here), having logged many hours winking, messaging, and doing the dreaded “meeting in person.” Here, she shares some her most memorable experiences with internet dating.

The Stalker – let’s just call him “S” – and I got along great during the 3 weeks before we actually met in person. That’s right – the 3 weeks before we met in person. Which brings me to my first rule in online dating:

Do not spend more than a week corresponding before meeting up in person. Otherwise you will end up generating expectations and feelings for someone you have never even met. And don’t fool yourself – you have no idea what a person is really like (physically, intellectually, emotionally) just from talking to them online.

Back to “S.”  We started messaging back and forth on Match.com one week before I was leaving on a 10-day trip to San Diego over the 4th of July. After a few Match messages we moved to email, then IM, then finally phone by the time I got to the West Coast. During my trip we corresponded about every other day. Aw, how sweet, you say? Maybe, but all this did was raise expectations (see rule above). Here we were, two people envisioning the other as we hoped they would be – taking the fragments of information and images from each other’s profile and molding them to our wants and ideals. 

Read The Online Dating Newbie: It Doesn't Happen Overnight

The day after I returned home we had our first “real” date, where it was clear we were not on the same page. Don’t get me wrong – “S” was what I call “perfect on paper.” Nice looking guy, tall, great job, great apartment, gentleman… so what’s the problem?  The problem is that while he “has it all,” he doesn’t. At 32, he had everything he needed but one thing – a girl. And it showed. So needy. During our first date Mr. Grabby McGrabberson kept reaching for my hand so he could proceed to rub my thumb (which was really just weird – I mean, thumb rubbing?) Just when I would manage to snatch my hand back into the safety of my own personal space, he would invade and somehow manage to get it back into his thumb-rubbing territory.

Besides that he was just, well, boring. I didn’t kiss him on the first date (he tried) and I wasn’t even sure if I wanted a 2nd date. Well, I ended up convincing myself that he really was a nice guy and that I should give date 2 a chance. Two more dates later yes, he was a stable guy and yes, he was a nice guy, but he only got more boring and – more hand-holdy. I knew I had to break it off after what was to be our last date (#5) when he a) told me he had taken his profile down on Match b) told me he had told his family about me and c) offered to give me a key to his apartment. Whereas I was looking for something casual, it was clear he wanted a girlfriend – and wanted one now. 

So, I broke up with him, naively thinking that would be that.