Ask the Mouthy Housewives: My Boyfriend Is Treating Me Like I’m The Other Woman
What do you do when exes muddy the relationship waters?
-The Mouthy Housewives
Joining us here at BettyConfidential … The Mouthy Housewives! These lovely models of decorum (Kelcey, Wendi, Marinka, Kristine and Tonya) want our lives to be as fabulous as theirs, thus they’re happy to ignore their families to give us smart, cheeky advice. So pop open a box of rosé, put on your favorite Barry Manilow CD and let the Housewives Swiffer away your troubles … Every week they’ll be answering burning questions from readers.
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
I started dating this guy and he insisted that he wanted to be in a long-term committed relationship (which isn’t really my style). But because he’s pretty amazing, I decided to give it a try. However, now that we’re together, he’s spending less time with me and doesn’t always text back, etc. It’s like now that he has me, he doesn’t need to work for it.
I would be fine with a little slacking except that one of the friends he’s been hanging out with is his ex-girlfriend. He has gone to several events with her because she didn’t want to go alone, he’s driven her to the store, picked her up from work, and then comes home to me slightly miffed. And now he bought a puppy and it lives at her house because we can’t have pets at our place.
It seems to me like he is still in a relationship with her. I feel like his whore, the one he comes to because he needs to have fun and feel loved after being with his nagging wife. What should I do?
Am I The Other Woman?
Dear Am I The Other Woman,
Yes. Yes, you are. But I think you already knew that, right? That whole “if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck and drives his ex-girlfriend to Target like a duck, it’s probably a no-good, two-timing duck” thing.
But honestly, I don’t see why you’d want to be with this guy if he’s spending so much time with his ex and it’s making you feel bad. Because unless she’s in a wheelchair and needs his assistance to get around town in his special van, he has no business going places with her. Even if he’s not actually sleeping with her, it’s still not fair to you. And the whole puppy thing? That just gives him a built-in excuse to go visit her even more often. Very crafty, that.
So what’s my advice? Well, my friend, I’m going to be blunt because Christmas is in just 12 days and the only shopping I’ve done so far is for beer and candy. So here it is: dump his ass. He’s obviously not fulfilling his end of the “long-term commitment” bargain he wants from you and seems to be playing both sides against the middle. And unless you’re living on a compound and dressing like Laura Ingalls Wilder, you don’t need a nasty Sister Wife in your relationship. (And whatever you do, don’t get his name tattooed on your body.)
His actions show that he doesn’t respect you, but your actions can show that you respect yourself. Move on, my friend.
The Mouthy Housewives spend our days solving the world’s problems and our nights playing classical piano and reading fine literature. Or maybe just yelling at reality TV shows. Need our help? Send your question to firstname.lastname@example.org. (All questions are confidential.) And you can find more smart, cheeky advice at The Mouthy Housewives.