Meet Harvey Helms, Your New Cyber Main Gay!

BettyConfidential is thrilled to introduce you to your new BFF!
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Meet Harvey Helms, Your New Cyber Main Gay!

BettyConfidential is thrilled to introduce you to your new BFF!

-Harvey Helms

Harvey Helms

Almost every woman I’ve known in my life has at least one gay man that they go to for friendship and advice on beauty, fashion trends, boyfriend drama or for the real answer to the question “Do I look fat in this?” or “Do you really think he’ll call now that I slept with him on the first date?”  Oh, the drama of living!  The gays love the drama!  You trust your gay man because he always tells you the truth.  Always.  You’ve probably heard him say things like: “Sweet Pea, you might want to consider brighter lighting in your bathroom considering how much bronzer you have on today, okay ‘Miss Miami?'” or “Your Grandmother called and wants that Christmas sweater back!  Didn’t I dispose of that sweater the last time we went through your closet, Precious?”  Whether you realized it or not, this man is what’s known as your “Main Gay.”  Actress/Comedian Kathy Griffin coined this phrase.  If she didn’t, I’m giving her credit because I adore her.  Now I’m not trying to make Kathy’s Main Gay jealous.  Gay men are very territorial with the women to whom they ‘re in service.  We take it very seriously!  We are not opposed to the occasional Main Gay cat fight either!

As you’re probably already aware, your Main Gay sometimes isn’t always available when you need him.  He may have just met the “Boy du Jour” and he says “No really!!  I think he’s the one!” and has to see his new man 24 hours a day.  Or he’s had to go back to rehab for a few weeks to take care of  a little addiction problem.  That’s okay, because I’ve always said  “Talented people are always addicted to something.”  Genius has its price.  Go figure.  Besides, when you visit him in rehab, you never know if you’ll run into Lindsay Lohan, David Duchovny or Liza.  It just ups his celebrity quotient!  We love that.

So here I am.  Harvey Helms.  Stylist.  Culturalist.  Up and coming author of a juicy cosmetic tell all.  I’m your new “Cyber Main Gay.”  Think of me when your main gay is not around in a fashion emergency or when you need up-to-the-minute info on a number of global issues like lip gloss, oil control, body smoothers or the mother-in-law from hell.  I’ve been married three times and could write volumes on how I was treated by the Wicked Witch because I married “The Golden Child” by whom the sun rises and sets.

Why should you trust me?  …

Well first you’re going to see me at my worst after an Active FX Laser treatment [Check out the actual process with my flip commentary in my upcoming column!] and I’ve got a list of achievements a mile long which you can read at your own leisure in my bio.  But here’s what you really need to know: 

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0 thoughts on “Meet Harvey Helms, Your New Cyber Main Gay!

  1. I’m so excited! I have a question for you. I’m a strawberry blonde and I have a really hard time finding eye makeup such as mascara that doesn’t make me look like Taylor Momsen. My eyebrows and lashes are so light that they can’t be seen unless someone is standing maybe a foot from my face. I’ve tried buying light brown brow definer and brown mascara to try to bring out my eyes, but it is still really dark. I found blonde mascara once several years ago and haven’t been able to find it since. Any recommendations for a girl who just wants to make her eyes stand out in a not so goth way?

  2. Harvey, What product do you recommend to cover up scaring between the eye and nose region. When I wear my glasses it covers most of it up, but feel it’s very noticeable when I wear my contacts.

    P.S. This is great. My Main Gay moved to CA and I miss him dearly. Your column will help fill the void, but there ain’t nothing like the real thing, you know what I mean.

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