Mean Betty: Why On Earth Does the Bling Ring Need to Know Emma Watson’s Salary?
What good will knowing Emma Watson’s salary on Sofia Coppola’s Bling Ring movie do the Burglar Bunch’s defense? Mean Betty isn’t entirely sure…
Kittens, have you seen those photographs of former Harry Potter star Emma Watson that have recently begun making the rounds through this glorious invention we call the Internet? Heavens! It looks like Little Miss Emma—at 22, no longer quite so little!—has shed completely the good-girl image of the brainy Hermione Granger in favor of talking a walk on the proverbial (and perhaps literal) wild side! Clad only in a leather jacket, short shorts, a bra, and sky-high heels, the images feature Emma lounging languidly in the sun. How shocking!
Though perhaps not as shocking as at first it might seem; Emma, you see, is working. These photos were snapped on the set of Emma’s new movie, The Bling Ring. Does that phrase sound familiar to you, kittens? Perhaps in conjunction with a certain Miss Paris Hilton? No doubt it does; the Bling Ring, also known as the Burglar Bunch, were a notorious gang of California teenagers who burgled $3 million in cash and belongings from such celebs as Paris, Audrina Patridge, and Lindsay Lohan in 2008 and 2009. They were caught, of course, and the trials for each of the members continue to be ongoing. Miss Sofia Coppola of Lost in Translation fame is currently directing a film that presents a fictionalized vision of the Bling Ring and their crimes—starring the aforementioned Miss Watson.
But what’s this, kittens? The Bling Ring isn’t content simply to answer for their crimes? They want to get in on Sofia and Emma’s Hollywood action? Meanie feels that perhaps she shouldn’t be surprised by this, and yet she still is: The defendant in the most recent Bling Ring trial, Roy Lopez, Jr., wants to know the salaries of everyone involved in making the upcoming movie. Or more accurately, his lawyer does. According to Meanie’s favorite gossipmongers, TMZ:
“The lawyer for the Burglar Bunch member on trial for breaking into Paris Hilton’s house wants to know how much Emma Watson and all the other actors are going to make in the movie about the crime spree.
“David Diamond, the lawyer for defendant Roy Lopez, Jr., has just subpoenaed ‘The entire payroll records of all actors, consultants, and staff.’”
Does this strike you as odd, kittens? Meanie certainly thinks it is. The lawyer with the sparkly name (see what Meanie did there?) apparently believes that the movie could in fact interfere with his client’s trial by giving witnesses a financial motive to overly-dramatize the allegations; however, Meanie fails to see how this could be the case. Here is how it stands: Diamond told TMZ that he is specifically after the consultants who are working on the film—that is, “some members of the Burglar Bunch as well as the investigator who cracked the case”—and that he plans to use the financial records to “impeach their credibility if they testify against Lopez.” In response to which Meanie asks: How will knowing Emma Watson’s salary help the matter?
Yes, Meanie does concede that perhaps this situation is something for which a defense lawyer would perhaps wish to plan. But at the same time, it seems slightly off to attempt to turn a legitimate salary into a bribe (as far as Meanie knows, Miss Coppola has not bribed anyone in the name of making her film). Furthermore, was it really necessary to subpoena the salaries of every single person working on the movie? If the consultants were the concern, why not simply subpoena the salaries of those specific individuals? Meanie feels somewhat verklempt on behalf of not only Miss Watson, but of all of the people working on this film for whom it is simply a job. As the butler always says, it is impolite to inquire about another person’s salary if it is utterly unnecessary to do so. And Meanie agrees!
Mr. Diamond, dear? Meanie suggests that you rethink your defense plan—and that you preferably leave Emma Watson out of it. If you don’t, she might choose to wingardium leviosa you right out the window. Old habits die hard!