Mean Betty understands the need to have something that makes you feel good. Why, if Mean Betty couldn’t find her lucky cocktail shaker, her pool boy and her fave margarita glass, Mean would be blue for days. So, Mean Betty totally understands why Suri Cruise carries her pacifier wherever she goes. Aside from the fact that Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise are her parents (shudder), poor Suri is possibly the littlest jet-setter. All those different time zones, all those stores to destroy, people to meet, dressing mom and dad … this can get very tiring! Instead of popping baby Prozac, Suri pops in her pacifier! Suck, suck, suck … peace!

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What do the models of perfect modern parenting, Tom and Katie, feel about their 5-year old still using a pacifier? Do they have the daily tussle that most folks have with their kids about what their child can and cannot do? Are they embarrassed to have photos of Suri with her pacifier splashed in tabloids and websites around the world? Um, kittens, have you read the interviews where Tom and Katie gush over how prescient their darling toddler is? How they slavishly follow their child’s advice? So that would be a no. Kittens, wouldn’t you like to be the child who actually rules the house? The power! The power!

A source close to the Cruises said recently "Suri just isn't told 'no' very often. Scientology encourages you to make your own decisions and learn lessons as you live your life. She'll know herself when it's time to throw the pacifier away, plain and simple."

We can see it now, Suri smiling around her pacifier in her middle school photo. Suri graduating to a gold pacifier when she becomes 16. Photos of Suri, a date and her pacifier splashed across the tabloids. Suri as the celebrity subject of an episode of My Strange Addiction. Suri wobbling through her 30s with a pacifier. Then, Suri and her pacifier enter Dr. Drew’s Celebrity Rehab!

Kittens, kittens, kittens, maybe we should all follow the stellar parenting model that is Katie and Tom’s – let the little tykes take over!

Mean Betty knows who is really and truly delighted about the relationship between Suri and her pacifier – the family dentist! When Suri gets older, she’s going to need braces (not to mention therapy – but let’s not mention it. It goes without saying…). Ca-ching! Ca-ching! Ca-ching!

XO,

Mean Betty