Mean Betty: Someone Please Get Amanda Bynes Out From Behind the Wheel!

Amanda Bynes has gotten involved in yet ANOTHER driving accident? Mean Betty says, oy vey!

Mean Betty: Someone Please Get Amanda Bynes Out From Behind the Wheel!

Amanda Bynes has gotten involved in yet ANOTHER driving accident? Mean Betty says, oy vey!

-Mean Betty

Amanda Bynes

Oh, kittens. When is Amanda Bynes going to learn? Or perhaps more accurately, when is Amanda Bynes going to learn how to drive?

You’ll recall that the former child star—who, by the way, retired and unretired from acting within the space of a month in 2010—has recently had some trouble on the road. First, there was that incident in March wherein she was pulled over by the LAPD and ticketed for talking on her cellphone while driving. Or at least, she would have been ticketed for the offense… if she hadn’t sped off before the cops could hand it to her. Then, barely a month later, she and her pink hair got nabbed for a DUI when she clipped a cop car; though her father later claimed that she wasn’t drunk, she was merely “upset and very emotional,” Meanie isn’t buying it. And now, guess what? She’s tallied up yet another driving offense! Someone stop this girl before it’s too late!

According to the folks at TMZ (honestly, how do they manage to be on the scene, everywhere, all the time? Meanie suspects that they might have an army of clones hidden away somewhere that they’re not telling us about…), Amanda got into yet another mini-accident on Friday night. Unnamed “law enforcement sources” revealed to the gossip site that “a man was driving… near the intersection of Crescent Heights and Melrose Blvd. when he claims he was sideswiped by a Range Rover that was trying to pass him on the right.” When the SUV failed to stop, the man called the police and reported the incident as a hit-and-run.

But lest you think the story stops there, kittens, do not be fooled: The plot, as it were, thickens! According to TMZ’s shadowy and nebulous sources, the man began to follow the mystery SUV himself. When the police arrived on the scene, they dispatched a helicopter to join in the hunt. And lo and behold! When the manhunt finally descended upon the Range Rover, they found the driver to be none other than the problematic Miss Bynes—who apparently had no idea that she had hit some poor unsuspecting passerby.

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Kittens, Meanie simply cannot believe that Amanda is still allowed behind the wheel of a car! Within the space of two months, she has demonstrated not once, not twice, but three times a penchant for reckless driving. Meanie herself is far from a terrific driver—but at least she knows this about herself; it’s why she employs the very best chauffeur in the business to shuttle her to and from her many important social engagements. And believe Meanie, kittens: He is, in fact, the best.

In this case, Meanie is reminded just a tiny bit of the rash of former Disney stars who found themselves in trouble with the law over their drunken driving not too long ago. True, Amanda was a Nickelodeon girl, rather than a Disney one; but the effect is more or less the same. Has she begun to rely too much on her fame—faded as it may be—to get her out of trouble? Or has she simply become a lazy driver?

Meanie acknowledges that it is also possible that dear Amanda is merely being picked on as an easy target. After all, in the absence of the allegedly reformed Lindsay Lohan, Hollywood finds itself desperately in need of another hot mess on which to dump all of its rage. At least Amanda didn’t simply speed off after the confrontation this time; sources say that she was cooperative with the police and that she exchanged information with the other driver. She was not, it would seem, given a citation and the police will not be running any further investigations into the incident.

But Meanie still thinks that Amanda needs to take a break from the road for a while—or at least get in some remedial driving lessons. There’s no shame in taking a quick refresher, and the other drivers on the road will all thank you for it!


Mean Betty

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