GOOP must be feeling like poop today, kittens! Her record deal with Atlantic Records--the one that was supposed to turn her into a "country star"--has totally fallen through. The horror!

Mean Betty was reading her morning New York Post in between a naughty swim with the pool boy and her pre-breakfast martini when she caught sight of the headline "Gwyneth's Music Deal Dead for Now."

Mean Betty wishes she could edit that title to say "Forever," but Mean Betty digresses...

Read Mean Betty: Botox Mom Was a Prank!

Surprisingly, according to the paper's source, there was interest in Gwynnie making a country album, but her ginormous ego got in the way.

"Atlantic bosses were very interested, and [Atlantic owner] Warner chief Lyor Cohen was very supportive. But then the talks halted and the deal fizzled out. There was a rumor that Paltrow wanted $1 million to sign, but that is a ridiculous figure. Atlantic is still interested in signing her."

Poor Gwyneth. She just can't catch a break, right kittens? All she wants is a measly million to sing songs someone else wrote for her. Is that so much to ask?

It's not like she's had a lucrative acting career for most of her life, a cookbook that just hit stores nationwide, legions of fans following her GOOPy newsletters, or a husband who makes millions as the lead singer of Coldplay! Sweetheart needs that money, just like the country scene needs another frail blonde's twang dominating the radio.

Oh wait, Gwyneth has all those things already? And the last thing the world needs is another bossy, spoiled star entering the music scene?

You must excuse Mean Betty then, darling... she had no idea!

XO,

Mean Betty