Mean Betty is so tired of hearing about how Chelsea Handler bombed hosting the MTV VMAs. She wasn’t that bad, kittens. It’s the show itself that is a majorly boring suckfest (to use the vernacular). Mean Betty wished she could borrow some of Paris Hilton’s "chewing gum" just to stay awake through the entire lackluster thing.

And now Mean Betty has to hear about the mindless Twitter war that has commenced between that zaftig diva Perez Hilton and the hostess with the mostest hate, Chelsea. It puts Mean Betty’s La Perla panties in a bunch.

Read Mean Betty on No More Bad Men, Jen!

Perez (shockingly) started the war when he Tweeted, “@RyanSeacrest I think you should host the VMAs next year! Or ME! Ha! We both would have done a better job than Chelsea did!” Perez couldn’t host his way out of a Prada bag, and as far as Ryan Seacrest goes—Mean Betty is sick of seeing his annoying face all over the TV as it is, pets. He hosts enough moronic shows. Why does he deserve the VMAs too?

Chelsea lashed back,”@perezhilton oh, f*ck off. I had a blast and the show was awesome last night. Bomb? Your life is a bomb.” Mean Betty doesn’t quite agree that Perez’s life is a bomb considering he’s made a massive career out of snarking on celebs and acting liking a big fat A-hole.

Perhaps Chelsea meant to say his tuchus is bigger than a bomb? Or she’d like to blow him up with a bomb? That would make much more sense to Mean Betty.

Perez shot back, “@ChelseaHandler I still think you’re usually very funny - and you probably have a larger penis than me! Xoxo." A newborn baby has a bigger penis than you, Perez, so you’re not saying much there.

Mean Betty thinks a bomb should be dropped on the time-wasting, mind-sucking Twitter.

xo,

Mean Betty