Well kittens, Mama Mariah Carey and her consort have at last revealed the names of their precious twins. After such nonsense as "Apple" and "Bronx Mowgli" and "Princess Tiaamii" (yes darlings, that is a real celeb baby name -- look it up if you don't believe Meanie!), Mean Betty thought nothing could surprise when it comes to ridiculous celebrity baby names, but thank goodness our dear stars never disappoint! Mean Betty is pleased to introduce you to Moroccan Scott and his sister Monroe.

Poor things.

According to the HuffingtonPost, "The couple chose to name their son Moroccan Scott Cannon after the Moroccan-inspired decor of the top tier of Carey's New York City apartment."

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Lovely! What better way to honor your darling child than to name him after the furniture?

Mean Betty wonders what the rest of the rooms in the other "tiers" of Mariah's apartment are named. Mean shudders in fear for future baby Cannons!

As for Monroe, named for the doomed starlet Marilyn, she came out with the slightly better end of the deal, though being named for a beautiful but sad woman who is most famous for sleeping with the married President and dying all alone, of a drug overdose, is perhaps not the best start to life. Nonetheless, Mean Betty hopes Monroe realizes one day how lucky she is her name isn't "Glitter Butterfly." Monroe is, however, deprived of a middle name because Mariah doesn't have one, so why should her daughter?!

So, in sum: Basically both babies were named in order to completely reflect and stroke Mariah's ego. Quelle suprise!

Mean Betty is shocked, actually, that they have the surname "Cannon." Wonder how Nick pulled that off?

XO,

Mean Betty