While Kate Gosselin hit up the Emmys trolling for a new beau and job (when she should have been searching WalMart for both), Jon Gosselin’s ex-girlfriend Hailey Glassman was revealing some sordid news to RadarOnline, kittens. In addition to “slime ball” and “scheeze bucket,” Mean Betty can now add “extorter” to the list of pet names she has for the Ed Hardy-wearing famewhore, Jon Gosselin.

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Hailey said that in addition to always referring to himself in the third person (way to rip off Mean Betty’s style) Hailey has documents in which he wrote, mysteriously, “Jon giving Kate ultimatums. He privately extorts Kate. If you don't do what I want, I'll do this.” It seems Jon doesn’t know how to stay in the third person, pets. Mean Betty should give him lessons. She would also like to remind Jon that extorting money from the mother of your children is just a hair un-gallant. Forgive Mean Betty but Jon is like school on Sunday—no class. Not that anyone has ever accused him of having any.

The mere fact that he’s setting that disgusting excuse for a human being, Kate Gosselin, up to look like the good guy pains Mean Betty to no end. According to Hailey, Jon used to write down what he was going to say to Kate then read from his notes. Making threats without a script can be tough for Jon, kittens! He should consult Mel Gibson next time. Hailey said, “He told her, ‘You either give me money, or I'm going to call CPS (Child Protective Services).’” Extortion is a serious crime, poppets. Luckily, there’s a spot open in jail with Jon’s name on it now that Lindsay Lohan is free. (But hurry before Paris Hilton fills it!)