My dear pets, Snooki is probably trying to drown her sorrows in a large vat of vodka right about now. Vinny's tears are probably ruining his fresh spray tan. And, Pauly D is probably spinning the blues instead of his usual fist-pumpin' beats.

Why so sad, you ask? Well, a huge, party-crashing cloud has descended over the Jersey Shore crew, courtesy of the mayor of Florence, Matteo Renzi. Mean Betty is sure you know by now that the fourth season of MTV's cash cow of a reality show will be filmed in Florence, so cast members like The Situation, Ronnie, and Sam can get in touch with their "Italian roots." But, it's pretty obvious that Matteo Renzi is NOT happy about hosting his new guests.

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According to the Italian newspaper Corriere Della Sera, Mayor Renzi has made sure to make the Jersey Shore guidos and guidettes wish they had never crossed the Atlantic by enforcing the following list of "rules" for the show:

1. The cast will not be filmed in bars and clubs that serve alcohol.

2. The cast will not be filmed drinking in public.

3. The show will not be filmed to promote Florence as a drinking town.

4. The show should be filmed in a manner to promote Italy (not Americans visiting Italy) and feature it’s culture and good food.

5. The show cannot film in the city’s historic buildings.

Is that Deena's temper tantrum Mean Betty hears? Did JWoww's boobs just deflate with depression? Mean Betty hates to point out the obvious, but what the hell are the Jersey Shore kids going to do? All of these rules are exactly what make the show pure gold in the first place: drinking, public debauchery, wild, inappropriate behavior, and complete disrespect for morals and class. Naturally, poppets.

There's only so much GTL one can do, non? Does Mayor Renzi assume they'll pick up a book and try to decipher the letters for an hour or two? Sit in a crowded cafe and act like civil human beings? Actually stay out of clubs and bars? Ha!

Mean Betty fears the joke will be on Mayor Renzi when filming begins next month. MTV has relied too long on the negative affects of alcohol on unintelligent people to stop now! Surely, the Shore crew will find a way to humiliate the city, one forbidden drink at a time.

And, Mean Betty wouldn't have it any other way!

XO,

Mean Betty