Another week has gone by, kittens, and celebrities continue to do their part to amuse Mean Betty. In fact, this week was quite a doozy -- Lindsay Lohan got out of rehab for a vacation before she inevitably goes back in (only time will tell, my pets), Glee's Naya Rivera went all "psycho ex-girlfriend" on Mark Salling's car, and Drew Barrymore is taking her pent up sexual frustration with ex, Justin Long, out on poor reporters.

But it doesn't get any better for Mean Betty than to see the inflatable balloon that is Heidi Montag complain about her artificial body, which she did in excess this week.

Read Heidi Montag Is a Boob

The boob made this embarrassing admission to Life & Style: ""My boobs are crushing me. My body's still getting used to them and I have major anxiety about it."

But that's not all, pets. After photos emerged this week of Heidi in Costa Rica with what looked like a Biore pore strip on her nose, the reality star gave a real logical explanation: she's not fighting blackheads, she's just falling apart. She told Life & Style:

Except for filming and a few photo shoots, I've had my nose tape on 24 hours a day since November. It takes a year for your nose to heal. This is just the first photo that anyone has seen of it... The last time I didn't wear tape after surgery and my nose changed shape. The tape is supposed to keep the swelling down and hold my nose in place the way Dr. Ryan sculpted it. Dr. Ryan always said I was his best, most cautious patient, and I'm not taking any chances now that he's gone. I don't want my face to fall off like Michael Jackson's.

Wah, wah, wah, you should have thought of that before you turned yourself into a hideous Madame Tussauds attraction.  If you stand still, can Mean Betty get a photo with you before your whole face falls off?