Mean Betty: Another Taylor Swift Break Up, Another Hit Album?
Taylor Swift and Connor Kennedy are splitsville—will the public get a new CD full of ‘I hate you’ songs?
Kittens, if there’s one thing we can always count on, it’s this: When Taylor Swift dumps a guy (and why is it that she’s always the dump-er, not dump-ee?), she hits the studio and we, the public, get an album that’s melodic and tunefulm with every lyric telling a story about how her latest love turned stinky. Red, her newest album, is supposedly about Jake Gyllenhaal and another ex or two just thrown in to confuse us. Now that she’s dumped Connor Kennedy, will she name her next album something like Camelot, Compound or Beach House?
In the beginning of her career, it was kind of cute that Taylor sang about her crushes. “She was just a sweet 16-year-old, after all. “You Belong With Me” wormed its way into our consciousness — wherever you went, you heard that tune. It was such a cute little ditty about a girl who was pining for a boy who was dating a popular girl. That song more or less set the bar for Taylor’s oeuvre. She pumped out bouncy, upbeat tunes about unrequited crushes or relationships that somehow failed — but the failures were never, ever Taylor’s fault. And kittens, who doesn’t love to dance to a bit of happy schadenfreude?
Yes, lambkins, we all gushed over sweet Taylor’s boundless energy and sweet-eyed naiveté in her pursuit of love. We kept rooting for her to find her one true love. It’s just that when you parse it out, kittens, it seems that almost all of her songs are break-up anthems.
What Meanie wonders now is this: Is Taylor purposely dating guys just to get more momentum for her creativity? Don’t laugh! In the past, she’s publicly stated that she uses all her exes as inspiration for her music. So, is she picking guys because she likes them, or…? Consider the celeb boyfriends that she’s dated and dumped alone: Joe Jonas, Taylor Lautner, John Mayer, Jake Gyllenhaal, Kyle McKinley, Adam Young, Corey Monteith, Toby Hemingway, Garett Hedlund, Eddie Redmayne, Harry Styles, Lucas Till and now Connor Kennedy’s been kicked to the curb. After compiling that list, Meanie’s head was twirling so badly after counting them — and she’s sure she missed a few — she had the butler make her a double.
Taylor Swift on The Ellen Show, that infamous slide show and more…up next