Mean Betty: A Salute to Jared Leto, the Worst-Dressed Man in the World
GQ has named Jared Leto 2011’s Worst-Dressed Man in the World. Jared, Mean Betty salutes you!
Good morning, kittens! And how are you this bright and sunny day? You may be wondering why Meanie is so chipper today. There’s an easy answer for that question; Meanie finds nothing quite as invigorating as questionable fashion choices, and this morning, Meanie hit the jackpot. You see, that most venerable of gentlemen’s magazines, GQ, has just named 30 Seconds to Mars frontman and sometime actor Jared Leto 2011’s Worst-Dressed Man in the World. Three cheers for Jared Leto!
That’s right: Throughout the entirety of 2011, no matter how terrible things may have gotten (Meanie is thinking of one day in particular when she woke up to find that the butler was unable to provide her with her morning mimosa due to a sudden and unexpected champagne shortage. Tragedy!), we could always count on Jared to look positively horrid. And there’s something comforting in that, isn’t there, kittens? Mocking people over their dress sense—or lack thereof—is truly one of the great joys in life. So in honor of the occasion, let’s take a look at some of Jared’s more… shall we say, creative get-ups! Starting with this one:
There are some people who can pull of hats like that. “Some people,” however, usually refers to small children. Jared Leto is not a small child; therefore, he really has no business placing this pink monstrosity on his head and expecting us to simply roll with it. That’s asking a lot, Jared, dear.
However, Jared does not seem to have limited himself to bizarre pink hats; he apparently has a whole closet full of these furry toppers at his disposal. Witness the following:
While this hat is admittedly somewhat subtler in color than his previous choice of headgear, it is no less questionable. Indeed, Meanie finds herself wondering how many poor, possibly mythical creatures had to die so that Jared could wear this. Is he pretending to be a bear? Is he trying to depict what might happen should an abominable snowman attempt to eat his head? We may never know.
However, furry hats are not appropriate for all seasons, and Jared knows and acknowledges this. This is why he has occasionally been known to sport outfits such as this one:
Oh, Jared. A mesh tank top? No, no. That is SOOOOO 1990. Come to Meanie, darling. She’ll fix you right up, if you’ll just let her show you the wonders that a good suit can work:
That isn’t quite what Meanie had in mind. All right, then, let’s try something a little less challenging, shall we?
There. The bag lady look. That’s easily mastered, even by the tragically fashion-challenged. Bravo.
Jared, you may be a lost cause when it comes to your wardrobe, but at least you are a never-ending source of amusement—and for that, Mean Betty salutes you. Oh, all right; she salutes your furry hats, too, because obviously they deserve a good deal of credit as well. Congratulations, Jared! May your terrible sense of fashion never change!