Do you know what Mean Betty gave thanks for this Thanksgiving? That celebrities never quit making complete and utter baffoons of themselves -- they don't even take a break for the holidays.

That's why Mean Betty was soaking in her tryptophan hangover, waiting in eager anticipation to see which celeb would be the first to screw the pooch post-Thanksgiving. Mean Betty might have had to wait till today, kittens, but boy, were these idiotic moments worth the wait!

First runner up...

Erin "Two Weeks Too Late" Barry

Oh Erin Barry, don't you know your affair with Eva Longoria's soon-to-be ex, Tony Parker, is old news by now? Mean Betty has long since moved on, but apparently, you're just hearing the news that you're to blame for ruining their famous marriage!

Read Mean Betty: Stay Away From John Mayer, Eva Longoria

The virtually unknown wife of Parker's teammate, Brent Barry, took to her website (and why on earth she has a website, Mean Betty just can't understand) to write a painstakingly long, "high and mighty" letter to the five people that visit her site to say:

"I DID NOT HAVE AN AFFAIR WITH TONY PARKER, nor did I 'pursue' Tony Parker. Unfortunately, because our divorces are occurring at the same time, great speculation has been cast on our friendship. My friendship with Tony Parker had nothing to do with the end of my marriage (which is painful enough without this added drama), and to assume that we had an affair is naïve, ridiculous, and completely misguided."

Mean Betty can't believe it only took you two weeks to craft such an eloquent statement, Erin! Maybe you were distracted by all the text messaging you were doing with another woman's hubby. Surely, that can't be classified as an "affair," right kittens?

Second runner up...