Or perhaps more accurately, Hugh Hefner's ONLY New Year’s resolution is never to get engaged again. Apparently the dream-turned-nightmare that was his relationships with Crystal Harris included more than enough almost-marital drama to tide the Playboy mogul over for the rest of his life.

It’s been almost exactly a year since Hef popped the question to Crystal; now, though, he says his goal for 2012 is to remain a bachelor. “This year has been a very interesting year for me,” he recently told People, “and as Holly [Madison]—a dear friend and former girlfriend—said, ‘Well, you missed a bullet.’ I think that’s accurate. I am clearly not meant to be married. Married life isn’t for me.”

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And just to drive the point home, Hef went on to say that NOT walking down the aisle with Crystal made 2011 “a very good year” for him. So even though he’s got not one, but two ladies on his arm at the moment (Shera Berchard and Anna Berglund), don’t expect him to be proposing to them anytime soon—or ever. And to be honest, we can’t really blame him. Crystal? Just give Hef his dog back already!

Lucia Peters is BettyConfidential’s associate editor.