
In my article, “Now That We’re Exhausted, Let’s Have Sex!”, I mentioned that planning when and where to have sex is like having all day foreplay; you are anticipating the pleasure of what you will be doing at a specific time. That is great for your sex life and your mind. Anticipation of something that connects you to your partner in an intimate way is a fantastic aphrodisiac.
There’s more to it than just planning of course; you need stimuli and the more the better. But, how do you go about all day foreplay when you’re both having your usual hectic day away from each other? What you need is a master plan:
First: Make the date and make no excuses.
Second: Remember that foreplay begins with your clothes still on.
On the planned day, do the following:
1. Before you go out the door, give your mate a real kiss. Make it an arms around each other, pressed tightly together, sweet, deep kiss. Some intimate touching is also a good hint of what can be expected later.
2. Call each other at least twice during the day and say something that is a turn-on for you. Couples have their own code language for sex, use yours. Make it personal. Hearing your lover’s voice is infinitely better than a quick text.
Read New Survey Says Guys Want You to Bring on the Toys... In Bed
3. And speaking of texting, why not try a “sext”? It doesn’t have to be complete nudity; just something to remind each other of what’s in store later.
4. If possible meet for lunch or coffee and act like you did when you first met. Holding hands is personal and more intimate than we think.
5. Send an email that lets your partner know you can't wait to be together. Remind him or her of your date. Make a point of also reminding your partner of past trysts. (Remember the time we..., I can't wait to..., Let's...I want you to...).
6. When you come home, kiss and touch again before you go on to take care of anything else. Be affectionate with each other before you get to the bedroom (or any other room you want to use. Visualize what you're going to do when you are together and then describe it to your lover.
7. Turn off the damned phones! Nothing should be that important, and you shouldn't be thinking about Tweeting, Facebooking, etc. at a time like this.
Sex therapists say that 95 percent of sex is in the mind, so use your imagination to enjoy the aftermath of all day foreplay!
Kristen Houghton is a Lifestyle writer and the author of the best-selling book, And Then I'll Be Happy! Stop Sabotaging Your Happiness and Put Your Own Life First. She is a Lifestyle writer for The Huffington Post and twodaymag.com.
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