How “I Hate My Body” Thoughts Affect Your Sex Life
Glamour magazine’s latest study proves just how mean we can be to ourselves, in and out of the bedroom.
“My arms look fat.” That was the first thing I thought when looking at Facebook photos of a party I went to over the weekend. Not, “We had so much fun,” or “I like my new haircut,” just “I need to start working out more.”
And I’ve been a size two for a year now.
It’s not breaking news that we women are our own harshest critics – guys love to remind us of that. But, it is surprising just how tough we actually are. A recent study by Glamour magazine found that the average woman has thirteen “I hate my body” moments per day. Thirteen!
That means we’re waking up and thinking, “I hate my stomach,” as we sip our morning coffee; “She’s skinnier than me,” as we walk to work; “Eat a salad, heffer,” as we break for lunch; “I look like crap,” as we exit the ladies room; “He probably thinks I’m ugly,” as we pass our cute co-worker…
And on and on and on. I can only imagine what’s running through our heads when we hop into bed with a guy. If you’re anything like me, your thoughts probably sound a little like this:
“His hand is about to go over my stomach. Quick, suck in.”
“I can’t lay on my side – it makes my boobs look weird.”
“My makeup and hair are probably a hot mess right now. There’s no way I’m turning him on.”
“OMG, I don’t want to go on top, then he can see everything jiggle!”
It’s like we’re having a threesome every time we have sex – there’s us, him, and our negative thoughts, and they are definitely cramping our style. Can you imagine if Mel Gibson’s powers in What Women Want were actually real and men could hear what we were thinking? They’d probably: 1. Be scared out of their minds, 2. Be hurt that we apparently never think about them during sex, and 3. Be convinced that we are all crazy and delusional for not seeing what they see… which is an incredibly sexy body on top of them.
This body-bashing is most certainly a reason why many of us shy away from trying new sex positions, find it difficult to relax enough to orgasm, and would sometimes rather roll over and sleep than get things started up. To say these thoughts negatively affect our sex lives would be an understatement.