Guilty Pleasure: Celebrity Apprentice Divas Throw It Down!
“I’m outing myself as a Celebrity Apprentice addict because the dish is getting so divalicious.”
I know, I know. The Celebrity Apprentice? Really? Sorry girls, I just can’t help myself. This current season is crazy good! It’s kind of like Celebrity Rehab except Donald Trump is the boss of this loony bin where the mental patients are competing to win money for their favorite charity!
David Cassidy can’t stop taking cigarette breaks. Dionne Warwick is just cranky and could play Madea’s mad black woman sister in Tyler Perry’s next film. Richard Hatch is the most boring gay man ever. At least it was interesting when he was the naked guy on Survivor. He should turn in his gay card!
Lisa Rinna showed us that nice girls with injectables don’t make it. Gary Busey, well, just crazy. Meatloaf? Anger management. LaToya Jackson? I must admit it’s the first time I actually felt sorry for her.
There are the few nice, sane people like Marlee Matlin, John Rich, Lil John, Mark McGrath, Hope Dworacyzk, model Niki Taylor and baseball hottie Jose Canseco. They are the glue that keeps this insane asylum together. Many have already been fired by Trump but the drama is getting hotter!
And … The Divas are getting ready to throw it down! Girl! I saved the best for last! Ex The View host, lawyer, and new author of Satan’s Sisters Star Jones … vs. my favorite Real Housewife of Atlanta NeNe Leakes. I want a front row seat for this match!
I’m outing myself as a Celebrity Apprentice addict because the dish is getting so divalicious. Last week, NeNe called LaToya “Casper the Ghost”– oh no she didn’t! — and LaToya was voted off because Star Jones strategically brought NeNe into the boardroom to make sure LaToya would be fired. It worked. Afterwards, NeNe more or less told Star to have a heart and remember this is for charity.
Monday morning on Today, LaToya told Anne Curry that Star Jones is evil. Twitter blew up the other night with scathing remarks about Star. Twitter followers all agreed that Star should have been fired — and to tell the truth I’ve never read the word “bitch” more times in a row than I did on Twitter after the broadcast.
My favorite tweet was, “An Amber Alert has been issued for Star Jones neck.” Girl!
Now even if you haven’t watched, you must tune in this Sunday on NBC at 9 p.m. to see NeNe hand Star her new and improved skinny ass. Donald Trump made a comment about Star’s weight loss because NeNe told Trump that the other girls are scared of Star and “crawling up her ass!”
Trump said, “Well it’s better now that Star has lost all that weight.”
Honey this is must see TV! The preview this week has NeNe going after Star! Comments like, “Star, where is Barbra Walters now?”
Star simply responds, “This isn’t the Real Housewives!”
Ding! Round one!
Who will win? I don’t know. I love NeNe! I’m from the south and she reminds me of some of my favorite BFFs from high school! She’s real and tells it like it is. Star Jones is wicked smart, well spoken and strategically controlled. It also depends if the girls win the task. If so, no girls will be fired. I personally hope that happens. It will give us a few more weeks of good Sunday night dish! I’m team NeNe! Sorry Star! Have to vote for my home girl!
LaToya call me if you need to talk!
But don’t call Sunday at 9. You know where I’ll be!
Harvey Helms is a beauty culturist and writer, drawing on 30 years of experience in cosmetics, fashion and design. Harvey has held positions ranging from Global Director of Beauty for Revlon Cosmetics to Executive Director of Special Events for Donna Karan Beauty. Harvey currently lives and works in Silicon Valley, where he just finished writing his first book in a trilogy of three: an engaging tell-all on the fashion industry. Follow Harvey on Twitter at Twitter.com/HarveyHelms.