Ever wonder why hotel sex is so hot? Of course, it’s partly because you’re away from the stresses of home, in a place where, within earshot of only strangers, you can feel completely uninhibited. But at Good in Bed we’re inclined to believe it also has something to with your surroundings, too.

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We’re not just talking about the hotel room’s elegant silk drapes (or, depending on your budget, the orange shag rug), although they probably add to the ambience. Instead, it could be the lack of clutter—the absence of “Mt. Laundry,” or your kid’s or dog’s toys, or that ratty comforter whose cleanliness is questionable at best. Hotels rooms also offer a sanctuary away from the stress of our daily lives: no piles of bills, unfinished novels, or family photos.

These details may matter less to men. But for women, relaxation—and a lack of concern about their surroundings—is key to pleasure. In fact, researchers in the Netherlands have found that the key to getting a woman turned on and to the heights of orgasmic bliss is a deep sense of relaxation and a lack of anxiety.

They scanned the brains of 13 women and 11 men while they were manually stimulated to orgasm by their partners. The scans showed that, for women, the parts of the brain responsible for processing fear, anxiety, and emotion slowed down the more aroused they became, producing a trancelike state at orgasm. Men showed far less change in these areas of the brain. Says the study’s lead researcher, Dr. Gert Holstege, “What this means is that deactivation, letting go of all fear and anxiety, might be the most important thing, even necessary, to have an orgasm.”