Sandra Bullock swore to herself she wasn’t going to watch Jesse James on Nightline recently, but she couldn’t resist. Sort of the way Jesse James couldn’t resist keeping it in his pants?

“Even though Jesse has apologized to Sandra over and over and has begged for forgiveness, she wanted to watch him tell American what he did and that he was sorry,” a friend close to Sandra told tells BettyConfidential. “Part of her felt sorry for him, but the other part of her felt nothing. Every time she softens she remembers what he did and she hasn’t gotten past that yet. The horrid reminder of him cheating on her just gets to her and she tries to put it out of her mind.”

Read Don’t Pity Sandra Bullock!

Our source adds that Sandra knew of Jesse’s hard life growing up when he was a kid. And, she knew that Jesse would talk about it on Nightline. “I don’t think any of what Jesse said was a lie," says the pal. "Sandra would not have let him go on national television to tell more lies. His lying is what got him into trouble and she wouldn’t have let more lies get him out of trouble. Plus, Jesse is trying to do all he can to get back into Sandra’s good graces. Lying is not one of them. She is in control of everything Jesse does and says. She's no dummy.”