Death of the First Date Kiss

Why aren't guys kissing on first dates anymore?
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Death of the First Date Kiss

Why aren’t guys kissing on first dates anymore?

-Kristen McGuiness

First Date Kiss

I was on a date with a man named Peter when it happened. For all intents and purposes, our first coffee encounter had been a success. Peter is a funny lawyer and I am a secretary who likes to laugh. I had flounced my hair repeatedly throughout the course of the evening, and Peter got up twice to get me accoutrements for my café. So when Peter walked me to my car, asked me out on a second date, and leaned in for the big… hug, I felt like I had been cheated. Why would he settle on the hug?

“They’re pussies,” my friend Kate explained later on the phone.

“Really? All of them?”

I might have been feeling better about this if it hadn’t become a pattern on so many of my dates. There would be shared jokes and mutual attraction. They would ask me out for date two. I would imagine them in various boyfriend-like settings. And then the end of the night would come and bupkus.

Read Your Friend Says… Your Shrink Says: Cheating Advice

And I like a first date kiss. In fact, according to Chip Walter in Scientific American (February 2008), so do most prospective mates, “Kisses can convey important information about the status and future of a relationship. At the extreme, a bad first kiss can abruptly curtail a couple’s future.”

Because that’s the thing: I don’t want to waste their time and I don’t want to waste mine, and if this was an Olympic competition, which dating has pretty much become these days, I would include “kissing” as one of my main judging categories. But more and more, I am finding that dates are like an ice skating exhibition with no jumps.

And I want some freaking jumps.


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0 thoughts on “Death of the First Date Kiss

  1. NYCdogmommy says:

    This writer is very funny and really observant! First date kisses are like spandex pants- they’re just not “in” at the moment.

  2. bobbimariah says:

    a kiss on the first date is good if there is chemistry! but if not, don’t! go with the flow!

  3. weetziebat says:

    Maybe some guys are becoming gentlemen at last. Not a bad thing.

  4. Fashionista says:

    I agree @bobbimariah. If you kiss him on the first date it’s a way to show him it went well. If you want a kiss and it doesn’t look like he’s going to do it, make the first move! Sometimes the guy won’t just because he’s shy, or doesn’t want to mess things up!

  5. pinupgirl54 says:

    It honestly depends on the guy, in my opinion. I briefly dated a guy who was extremely confident. He kissed me on the first date, which was extremely impressive, since the inability to make the first move is an extreme turn off for me when it comes to guys. However, the actual dating process lasted for a short period of time, and even though he was an incredible kisser, he lacked a lot of the qualities that I look for in a relationship. So while it may be frustrating if they don’t kiss you at first, it does not necessarily indicate that they are not interested in you or would make a bad boyfriend. Something to be considered is that it may be a matter of respect.

  6. neyney says:

    i agree with the lot of you… even tho that may be contradicting… but all in all, i think girls should make the first-date-kiss move. if the guy isnt kissing u because he is bein a gentalmen, u kissing him would show ur ready for it. not only that, but if you make the move, guys see that you have confidence. i mean come one, should guys ALWAYS have to make the first move? i dont think so. its supossed to b an equal relationship, wich means equal power… so girls, just make the first move already!!!

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