Dating The Alpha Male
The elusive alpha male has been the recent talk of the town. His name is whispered in wine bars, cursed in clubs and swooned over in unsuspecting places…such as the cardio section of the local health club.
It’s time high time we dissect this unique species and uncover why every woman covets him, yet is made miserable by him.
Why we covet Alphas
How many times have you ordered the heart-healthy fruit platter for dessert when the flourless chocolate cake was next on the list? I see. Than why would you rather pursue something simple and good for you than the attractive, thrilling, yet all together heart-unhealthy alpha male?
Even though we know we would likely be better off with a ‘beta’ male version that comes with a conscience, we remain stubbornly attracted to alpha model-dangerously high testosterone levels, confidence bordering on cocky, power that stems from said confidence and a high profile career and car to back it all up.
The Alpha Male’s Natural Environment
The Alpha male, when not in important boardroom meetings, is found doing deals on the golf course, winning a race in some elite sport category and frequenting trendy bars filled with beautiful women.
The Alpha male goes to these trendy bars for one sole purpose: hunting. The Alpha male is a supreme hunter and easily captures his prey within minutes of buying them a glass of wine. “Easier” women fall victim to his charms instantly and are often confused as to how they ended up in his bedroom. Sadly, they really do believe he will call them the next day. Experienced women stay far away and monitor from a safe distance. They do not want to be pulled in by his charm.
The Alpha Male Psyche
The Alpha male cares first and foremost about himself. You certainly won’t see him volunteering with one-armed children in Uganda … unless there are major business connections to be made or a slew of Brazilian models volunteering there as well. The Alpha male won’t do anything unless there is some personal value to his world.
Driven by his need for self-actualization, the Alpha male requires constant challenges and competition. The Alpha male will seek out the latest sport to both keep his adrenaline levels high and prove his self worth. If you want to hang out with the alpha male, you must be prepared to indulge his need for challenges on double black diamond ski slopes, high-stakes tables at Vegas and new miles per hour records in his sports car.
The Alpha Male in Relationships
The alpha male views everything in his world as a temporary conquest–from ski slopes to business deals to the new hottest woman. However, sometimes the Alpha male gets confused from accidentally watching ‘When Harry Met Sally’ or talking too long to his mother. “Why, my Alpha son won’t you settle down?”
He tries to repent and immediately forms a relationship with the current women he has hunted (dated). For a while he does well, tries to make compromises, and may even replace his Saturday night boxed seat Giants tickets with an outing to the ballet. His has visions of having children as part of his legacy. But then the glitter of a relationship wears off and the Alpha male becomes restless. He decides to let the girl go…and focus on himself again.
But why do we even date Alphas in the first place? I ask around the city…
“We are drawn to testosterone. Pure and simple. We want the strongest and most powerful. That’s what mattered in cave man days….not sensitivity or willingness to see a Sarah McLaughlin concert with us.”
“Hey, we like the chase too! An alpha male is more of a challenge!”
“Power is sexy. Listening to our feelings isn’t.”
“Well, I’m over them and their Alpha attitudes. Kind hearted generosity is sexier to me any day. Give me Aidan, not Mr. Big.”
I wonder, and ask my readers, how much alpha in a male do we need? Is a hybrid version available? And is it possible to ever have an alpha male that has a chance of being a decent guy?
Read Heidi’s last blog, “Can a girl find passion AND stability?“