Blast From the Past: Why Do Men Try to Come Back?

Why do guys I dated ages ago try to make their way back into my life now?

Blast From the Past: Why Do Men Try to Come Back?

Why do guys I dated ages ago try to make their way back into my life now?

-Faye Brennan

man with flowers

Whoa, I haven’t seen that name pop up on my phone in a long time. In fact, it took me a minute to remember who it was that was texting me around 9 p.m. on a Saturday night, “Hey, I hope New York is treating you better than I did.”

Then it hit me: he was a guy I dated briefly when I was looking for a new apartment last summer. He shared his love of travel and photography with me, took me to fancy dinners, and would spontaneously (and somewhat inappropriately) grab me to kiss me passionately in the middle of a crowded sidewalk.

Read Love Fireworks: “The Moment I Knew I Was In Love Was When…”

I was interested in him, but his peculiar changes in mood made me keep my distance. And, since he really loved to travel, he was gone pretty much every other week on some crazy exotic trip. After he left for another one, I realized I didn’t want to pursue the relationship any further, and we never reconnected after he returned.

That is, until this random text message… a year later. I stared blankly at my glowing phone with just one thought: why?

A week later, as if like clockwork, I received an email from the other guy I dated for a short time last summer. We had a very memorable first date where everything that could’ve gone wrong did, but we still had a great time. He seemed like a nice guy with an adorable obsession with Superman, but he behaved strangely as well. Every date, he was meaner and meaner to me for no apparent reason. After I’d had enough, I blew him off with a bitchy text message and never heard from him again.

But now, an email sits in my inbox that reads like an apology for his bad behavior. He says I was beautiful, smart and funny and that he regrets blowing it with me, but he’s in a much better place now than he was last summer. Now, the question of “Why?” in my head is just too loud to ignore.

While I appreciate an apology no matter if it’s a day or a year late, I’m puzzled as to why both of these guys felt the need to reach out to me now. It’s been 12 months since either of them has been in my life — any type of relationship we had is now just a distant, emotionless memory.

Personally, I find it a bit selfish of them to try to insert themselves into my present and remind me of my past dating fails and the men who didn’t treat me right. What makes them think that I would want to hear from them again?

My father always says that he doesn’t like the idea of “going back,” and that you should always be focused on the future instead of your past. This is why I’ve never visited my High School since the day I graduated, never returned to the pizzeria or coffee shop I used to work in, and have never tried to contact my first boyfriend. I don’t like the idea of going back either.

I appreciate these guys’ attempts to reconcile what happened between us a year ago. But, whether they are looking for forgiveness or a second chance with me, they need to understand that they will always be kept in my past. My future is reserved for the one who will treat me right.

Tell us: has a guy from your dating past ever tried to reconnect with you? How did it go?

Faye Brennan is senior editor at BettyConfidential.


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4 thoughts on “Blast From the Past: Why Do Men Try to Come Back?

  1. icantgo4that says:

    I’ll be u got a STANKY D.I.C.K.

  2. DiamondLove says:

    My ex broke up with me 9 years ago, and he still calls me to this day. I never answer the phone, but he once tried to convince my mother that he is a changed man, to no avail. Pathetic, isn’t it?

  3. Komae says:

    Hello every one i want to testify the great work of DR omozokpia who helped me bring back my ex-boyfriend when i was frustrated some months ago, me and my boy-friend have been dating for the past 6 years will love and cherish each other so much that he promise to marry me, one morning my boy-friend call me on phone telling me to come over and see him and i did, when i got there he was telling me different type of story that he is in love with his co-worker that he want to marry her after been with me for good 6 years, he use and dump me. i try all my best to have him back but know one could help till i come across one great spell caster DR Omozokpia and explain everything to him and he promise to return him back to me in just 48 hours, after casting the love and return spell my mark call me on phone asking me to forgiveness him that he still love and cherish me that he want to settle down with me, he came will prepare and did our marriage, right now will are in our honey moon in biggest hotel in Dubai, once again thank you for building my marriage and i will keep on sharing this wonderful testimony you can also reach him at: omozokpialovetemple@outlook.com

  4. georgemiller2015 says:

    My wife has accused me of a lot of things in our years of marriage some of those accusation were true and i admitted to doing them but am to much in love with her to give her an s.t.d. She was down to end our marriage cos she believed i gave an s.t.d. She had a good reason to believe that cos of late i haven't been the best husband. Thank God that s@@t was clarified in the Trisha show that i was not responsible for the s.t.d. She was in love with me as i was in love with her. Yes i will admit to the fact that i f$$ked up so many times but we always got around our problem i don't mean avoid it i mean we fixed our problem like real adults but my stepson always thought i was not good enough for his mother. We never really got along. I never hated him, but he just didn't like me and i wasn't gonna suck up to him.He just wanted me out of their life and our problem just made it possible for him to see that happen cos he also accused me of giving my wife, his mother s.t.d. I agreed to do the Trisha show thinking maybe it will help fix our marriage but it made it even worse. After the show she was more down to leave me. She asked that i move out of the house filed for a divorce and all. I thought she will come to her sense and see that though she had s.t.d i still wanted to be with her. I thought if i should give her time the anger and bitterness will die but it didn't even after a whole month after everything.She had the divorce papers delivered to me. I could not let her go just like that.I got desperate and i started panicking so i used a spell to get her back i know most people don't believe and you may call me crazy but it worked for me. I found a comment on the Internet about this spell caster Metodo Ell. The comment said he doesn't do spell for those who are not meant to be together. I mean i believe with all my heart that she is the one thing i needed in my life and i also know she needs me too so i thought he could help me get her back.He agreed to help me cos he also said we are soul mate.All i needed for the spell were materials to get the spell done. I could not get them so i paid him to get them for me since he is the expert in this stuff.After three days, he sent me a substance with instructions on how to make the spell effective and i did as he directed but honestly it took seven days to work i guess good things don't work like zap. As far as i can tell that s$$t worked cos all my marriage problem just fell off my shoulder AFTER THE SPELL WAS CAST.My wife didn't go through with the divorce and stepson is cool with me now. If you want to get him to cast a spell for you contact him here with this email address metodoacamufortress@yahoo. com he could also do a direct spell maybe it meant cost a little more than mine i don't know him only can tell you that.

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