Ask the Mouthy Housewives: Don't Dip Your Pen in the Company Ink

...Unless it's got a six-pack.

Ask the Mouthy Housewives: Don’t Dip Your Pen in the Company Ink

…Unless it’s got a six-pack.

-The Mouthy Housewives

Company ink

Joining us here at BettyConfidential … The Mouthy Housewives! These lovely models of decorum (Kelcey, Wendi, Marinka, Kristine and Tonya) want our lives to be as fabulous as theirs, thus they’re happy to ignore their families to give us smart, cheeky advice. So pop open a box of rosé, put on your favorite Barry Manilow CD and let the Housewives Swiffer away your troubles … Every week they’ll be answering burning questions from readers.

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

I started sleeping with a coworker about two months ago, which is okay as far as there being no rules against workplace relationships as long as neither party is a supervisor of the other. However, we agreed that it would just be sex and now, what started out as a secret affair has turned into something not-quite-secret and more than an affair.

How do I approach the topic with said coworker about where we are going with this? We aren’t the best at talking (read: he’s a man). While the relationship isn’t off limits, working the same shift in the same department isn’t something management prefers, so things could get complicated were everyone to find out, which given the current situation could happen very quickly.

Signed,

Co-Mingling With a Co-Worker

Read Ask the Mouthy Housewives: Cleanliness Is Next to Annoying Your Girlfriend

Dear Co-Mingling,

Whew! Your question makes me really happy that I don’t have a job and therefore any hot co-workers around to entice me into thrilling sex-only relationships! No, I am definitely much better off just sitting here alone in my cold house. With my cat. And my burrito. And my worn-out copy of Twilight. And my…OH, FOR F*CK’S SAKE, WHY IS MY LIFE SO DAMN PATHETIC?!? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!? WHY DO I KEEP HITTING ON THE CHUBBY UPS GUY WHO SMELLS LIKE LONG JOHN SILVERS? WHYYY? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I’M GOING TO DIE ALONE NEXT TO A LITTER BOX, AREN’T I?! AREN’T I?!?

But let’s get back to your problem of having too much meaningless sex.

Now, I have to confess that I’ve never, ever had a work-place rendezvous (obviously), so I can’t speak from personal experience. However, I think if you re-read your own question, the writing is on the sexy, sexy, oh God, so sexy wall (ahem): put your pants back on, baby.

It sounds like you’re not ready for this hook-up to turn into a real relationship, so that’s why you need to end it as soon as possible. For both his sake and the sake of your career. (And if he won’t listen to you, just write “We’re kaput, bitch!” on your boobs. That’s how I broke up with my last mammogram technician.)

However, maybe I’m wrong and maybe that’s not what you should do at all. So I’m going to ask our amazing, beautiful and very wise readers to chime in on this one. What do you all think? Should she keep on keeping on? Is it OK to do this with a co-worker? Or should she kick his ass to the curb before Human Resources transfers her to the home office in Kzakaitshaantan? We really, really want to hear your advice.

And, uh, if you can throw in your two cents about my obsession with the chubby UPS guy, that’d be good, too.

Sincerely,

Wendi, TMH

MouthyThe Mouthy Housewives spend our days solving the world’s problems and our nights playing classical piano and reading fine literature. Or maybe just yelling at reality TV shows. Need our help? Send your question to ask@mouthyhousewives.com. (All questions are confidential.) And you can find more smart, cheeky advice at The Mouthy Housewives.


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0 thoughts on “Ask the Mouthy Housewives: Don't Dip Your Pen in the Company Ink

  1. pinupgirl54 says:

    The general rule of relationships is that no two are alike, thus, I recommend that you take your situation into account while I give you my two cents.

    Almost a year ago, I began a relationship with a fellow employee. He was sexy, smart, and very sweet. Now, unlike your situation, it was not a sex-only relationship. We were dating, and eventually he became my official boyfriend.

    We are still going strong a year later, but I am warning you, workplace relationships have the potential to create a LOT of drama. Should people find out about the subtleties of your relationship, they will gossip, they will talk, they will spread rumors no matter how highly your co-workers think of you or him.

    The best way to deal with this is to keep it between the two of you, whether you decide to stay together or not.

    If you like this guy, why shouldn’t you date him? If your feelings are becoming stronger, and so are his, maybe you should take it to another level. However, if you are not interested and he is, it is best to rip off the band-aid before he gets any more emotionally invested in you, because the end results could be ugly.

    The two of you are mature adults, so handle the situation as you would anything else.

  2. ifuaskme2 says:

    @pinup….that’s a TERRIBLE answer. The writer already knows she’s in trouble (the housewife got it right). However I see a coward here. She knows its gonna come out because he’s dropping hints left and right. My advice…. suck it up or quit. But either way, end the relationship (or whatever).

  3. edward says:

    bang his balls off after hours…..at work put your hand up and call him a dreamer..clock out and get ready for some heavy-duty banging later

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