According to Jessica Alba, I’m Not "Really, Truly" a Mother

I have merely one child so, so you know, according to Jessica Alba, it doesn't really count.

According to Jessica Alba, I’m Not “Really, Truly” a Mother

I have merely one child so, so you know, it doesn’t really count.

-April Daniels Hussar

Jessica Alba

I just heard about this from my friends The Mouthy Housewives — somehow this Jessica Alba quote has been floating around the web for a few days whilst I labored in blissful ignorance, thinking myself a “real” mother to my only daughter. Fool that I was!

Jessica Alba, that fabulous actress (currently starring in Spy Kids 8-Million! Don’t miss!) and paragon of maternal amazingness, recently gave an interview in which she waxed poetic about the impending arrival of her second child.

It feels like you’re really officially, really truly a mother when you have two kids,” quoth she.

Um, excuse me?

“One kid you’re a mother for sure,” she continues, “but two takes it to another level.”

Oh, OK. Thanks for the clarification, Jess. I mean, thanks for throwing me and my pitiful ovaries a bone. I bow to your business, which, surely, being merely a mother of one, I can only begin to imagine. Excuse me while I go pop some bon bons into my mouth and draw a luxurious bubble bath, whilst you toil up there on your other “level”, secure in the fact that you are “really” and “truly” a mom now that you’ve given birth TWICE. Officially!


I know, I know. Why do I even care about this? Where’s my sense of humor? Why am I letting the opinions of a woman who doesn’t understand why actors need to use scripts get under my skin? I mean, I read a lot of celebrity news and gossip. And I know that people say things off the cuff, and sometimes things don’t come out the way they meant them to, and blah blah blah. But hey, Jessica Alba — from this mother of one little girl … ‘F’ you!

Because guess what, you sanctimonious little b*#tch, the fastest way to alienate your fellow mothers is to engage in that infuriating little game of one-upmanship. I would never say that Jessica Alba is not “really, officially” a mom because she can afford nannies and private chefs and all kinds of help that most of us can’t.

Surely Jessica Alba doesn’t REALLY think that I’m not a “real” mom. (Right?) But it’s so freaking insensitive to say something like that. What about women who want to have more children but struggle with infertility? Or make the hard choice not to for financial reasons? What about adoptive mothers? What about mothers whose children have died, or who are missing? They sure have a lot of free time on their hands, right Jess?

I would love to have more children. I’m not sure if it’s in the cards for me though, for a variety of reasons, and surely that’s why this gets under my skin so much. It’s a sensitive issue for me. I know I certainly don’t need Jessica Alba’s validation to feel like a “real” mother — I know I’m an official mama in every action I take, from snuggling in bed with my sweet sleepy daughter this morning to writing this rant. I guess I just want to state, for the record…

There is no such thing as a mother who is not “really, truly” a mother.

April Daniels Hussar is BettyConfidential’s Executive Editor. She usually has a much better sense of humor.

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0 thoughts on “According to Jessica Alba, I’m Not "Really, Truly" a Mother

  1. Okay… I’ve read a few articles on this site and I must say, you don’t sound like Mean Betty, you sound like Bitter Betty! lol

    From taking Jessica Alba’s words and streching them till you’re hurt, to slamming Kate Gosslin because…well I don’t know why maybe a little envy. (?) You maybe need to chill and not take everything in the world so personally. Maybe you’ll be a little happier and a little less bitter, Betty.

  2. Hi “notmeanjsutreal” — I just want to point out that we have many different writers and voices on BettyConfidential. I wrote the above article, and another blogger, “Mean Betty”, wrote today’s post about Kate Gosselin. We both appreciate you reading us!

  3. I didn’t take her words to mean that you’re only a real mom when you have more than one kid. It’s true that the more you have the busier you are. I have just one due to medical problems, and my sis hass two. She has to split her attention between them, while I can give my son all of my attention. I hope that you were just having a bad day when this interview hit you so hard.

  4. I used to like Jessica Alba till this comment. And I’ve heard it from others that you need more than 1 kid to be a real mom. Considering that I am an only child and I have an only child its not the number of kids that make a “real” mother its the love, attention, devotion for you child. Of course if I could afford a nanny than maybe I wouldn’t have felt like a real mom either Jessica. Try taking care of your child all on your own then decide if your a real mother.

  5. I think Jessica just meant that 1 child is demanding, and 2 is almost twice as much “fun”. As a mother of 1 child, with no plans for more, I don’t take offense to it. It was worded badly, and let’s face it, Jessica definitely needs someone to writer her words for her, but I wouldn’t get too upset about it.

  6. Hi April!!!

    I am going to give Jessica the benefit of the doubt and say that I think her comment was made without much thought. (I don’t believe she meant to criticize “one child moms”) I do, however, believe that there are many women out there who find it necessary to judge and criticize other women every chance they get! One child vs eight, stay at home mom vs working out of the home mom. (I believe ALL moms are working moms.) Even women who CHOOSE not to have children get bashed! We need to stick together and support and respect each others CHOICES! A woman needs to do what is right for her family and her situation.

    P.S. – You are an amazing mom with an amazing daughter!! xoxo

  7. whoa…I really don’t think that Jessica Alba was taking on moms of 1 with her comment. She does speak some truth – going from 1 to 2 kids does take it up a level, so to speak. Right? There’s no denying that taking care of 2 kids is at least 2x (and I had twins off the bat which is x squared – and having had a singleton later, twins are harder. just a fact). She may be inartful in saying she now feels like a “real” mom but really I don’t think she meant to say anything more than “2 is hard”.

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