Would You Wear These Crazy Shoes?

Spring Fashion Week brought out a feast of freaky footwear. We’ve heard that fashion is pain, but this is ridiculous.

-Erin Donnelly

It’s not often that we feel pity for a gorgeous supermodel, but we’ll confess to a pang or two of sympathy after seeing some of the head-scratching, laws-of-physics-defying, and just plain crazy footwear those catwalkers wore while miraculously strutting down the runway this season. The Spring 2010 shows delivered a slew of wacky shoes that prove that Crocs may not be the worst footwear idea after all (don’t get excited — we said may). Behold, a few standouts.

1. You Call This Evolution?

Alexander McQueen’s Spring 2010 collection was inspired by Charles Darwin’s The Origin of Species, but the only species we can think of after setting eyes on his death-defying snakeskin and gem-covered booties is some weird breed of My Little Ponys mated with a ballet troupe. Between the nearly 90-degree sole, 12-inch heel, horseshoe-shaped arch, this shoe is guaranteed to put your podiatrist’s kids through college.

2. Everything But the Kitchen Sink

We’re “straining” to see the appeal of Indian designer Anuj Sharma’s cutlery-enhanced sandals. Call us hygiene freaks, but there’s just something about feet and tools used in food preparation that don’t belong together...

3. In Need of a Serious Trim

Well, here’s one way to afford designer shoes. Skip on pedicures and you might one day be able to splash out on the latest mules and monogrammed boots by Louis Vuitton. With their furry “beard” embellishments, you’ll never need to pay for a pedi again. But beware of small dogs trying to hump your designer-clad feet.

4. Just Add Water?

We’ve heard of green thumbs, but a garden trellis for your shins is something else. Everything’s coming up roses — literally — with Viktor & Rolf’s sickly sweet cut-out boot/heel combo (seriously, what’s that about?). Gives a whole new meaning to the term “lady garden,” doesn’t it?