Advice Roundup

Though we all speak the same language, the difference between British and American advice columnists is wider than the 3,000 or so miles that separate us. Basically, we Yanks are a whole lot less polite. See for yourself . . .

This stay-at-home mom's partner of 20 years has two other secret girlfriends, another house (where he keeps all his expensive toys), ignores their children and she's wondering if she should stay?

Daily Mail columnist Zelda West-Meads correctly points out that this cad is no doubt planning to leave her as soon as the children come of age, but is less adamant that this woman should see a lawyer - or as they say across the pond, a "solicitor" - stat. Not only that, but she should start squirreling money away immediately, make sure her name is on the deed of the house she's living in, and get him to pay for classes so she'll have some job skills once she gets the inevitable heave-ho. Better yet, with a job and a secure future, she'll be in the position to kick him to the curb. So much more satisfying to be the dumper, especially when it's so richly deserved.

The Guardian's Pamela Stephenson Connelly is also very circumspect in her advice to a gentleman who is concerned that his wife's new short haircut (four days before her wedding) means she doesn't want to have sex with him. Why this concerns him more than the fact that she refuses to have sex with him and calls him "childish" for wanting it, I can't figure out.

Connelly says, "Her low desire might have physiological, psychological or other causes that require treatment; perhaps she would be willing to investigate - with your support." All very nice, but his wife has already made it clear that she doesn't seem to think she has a problem. I agree that he should speak to her - calmly and clearly - but he also needs to seriously consider whether he's prepared to remain in a sex-free zone for the rest of his life.