Why Porn is Teaching Your Man Bad Habits in Bed
From “women are always ready” to “foreplay isn’t necessary” … bad lessons from the porn industry.
-Charles J. Orlando
Over this past weekend, I got into a discussion with friends that (inevitably) led to sex and pornography, and it all boiled down to two questions: Is porn a good thing, or a bad thing? And ... what does it do for our sex lives?
Firstly, let's acknowledge that pornography can be good for some people. Couples going through a hard time sexually are often prescribed pornography as a way of reengaging and rejuvenating their sex lives. And some people are voyeuristic, and get turned on watching others. But if your guy thinks that the reel-life he’s seeing should be anything like your real-life in the bedroom, then there’s a problem. Here’s why:
Porn. Is. Fake.
Once you strip away the facade of overacted orgasms, bulging biceps and silicone implants, you can remember that there is a crew of 10-15 people on the set — and from that simple fact, the fakery is obvious. These are people getting paid to perform a job ... and it's no different than any other form of entertainment. The question is: Does your guy believe that it's real?
As an analogy, some WWE fans allow themselves to believe the "wrestling" they are watching is real, too, but the key difference is that most wrestling fans — even if they think wrestling is real — won't try performing a pile-driver on their friends. And that's where porn seems to be different.
"My [sexual partner] will love this, because those porn starlets love it."
Last weekend one of my friends looked at me completely serious, eyes burning, and said, with much conviction (and volume):
"F**K porn, Charles. Period. I mean, who told men that I like it when they ... " [she then takes two fingers and pounds violently on the table with them] on my clit!?"
We all laughed hysterically, but it was then that I truly understood how the porn industry is teaching its target market (read: men) all the wrong things, creating a huge disconnect with what men expect in bed.
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Sex, porn, bad in bed, sexual habits, Charles J. Orlando, orgasm, sexual frustration, foreplay, kinky, erotic
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So true!
"Wanna bump uglies?" Haha - Definitely doesn't do it for me.
As a research sexologist, blogger and sex book author, I get so many questons on anal intercourse. Men want to do it the way it's done in films: Just push it in.
They do not see the preparation that goes into anal intercourse. The actress has one or two enemas the night before, no food before the shoot--and she wears a butt plug for at least an hour. Using an anal syringe, she squirts ample amounts of lube up her rectum.
And then he just slips it in.
Yes, some of those girls are still in pain. The actors have larger penises than most men-and they pound the girl anally.
Ladies, show your guys some educational DVDs on subjects like anal sex, oral sex, arousal techniques.
And then he just slips it in."
Amazing little bit of info there! I knew that they didn't just go straight into it but I didn't know exactly what the prep was, it's interesting because anal is one of the things I enjoy watching the most in porn.
I think that the difference between a guy watching porn and thinking it's for real and knowing it's fantasy is their maturity level and how much REAL action they're getting (and how responsive they are to our reaction). If a guy is going to believe that the fantasy is real, he's going to learn quickly that it doesn't do it for us is he pays any sort of attention at all to the girls' reactions.