Why Good Guys Love Bad Girls
You know how you’re attracted to rebels? Turns out men have a similar problem.
EDITOR’S NOTE: In light of the news about Sandra Bullock’s husband, Jesse James, allegedly cheating on her while she was on location filming her Oscar-winning role, it seems like a good moment to revisit our recent story about why men are attracted to Bad Girls.
Pete is the guy women should want to marry. He’s well-educated, handsome, funny and has made the world his playground, with the stamps on his passport to prove it. But the longest relationship on this 37-year-old bachelor’s resume is one year. The native New Yorker somehow manages to find all of the wrong women in all the right places.
“I’ve dated lots of girls who are trouble,” Pete says. “And ‘trouble’ can mean she’s still married or going through a divorce that’s not quite over… I’ve had it all. One girl had a violent, estranged boyfriend who was still paying for the apartment she lived in. That was just bad news. I don’t know how I meet these girls.”
Pete’s dating life is the equivalent of the movie Groundhog Day. He meets a bad girl, dates her, breaks up with her, and then starts the cycle all over again. “Maybe I cause this to happen because I keep dating the same type of person over and over,” he says.
The bad girls in Pete’s life aren’t the street-corner types Donna Summer sang about way back when. The bad girls Pete has come to know so well seem to be normal. They’re attractive, intelligent, etc. but then all of a sudden – after a few months or maybe even a couple of dates – they open up like Pandora’s Box and let their personal problems and intimacy issues ruin the relationship.
The other defining characteristic of bad girls is that they’re inconsistent. Flirty one minute and distant the next. The type of girl who talks all week about how excited she is to have dinner with a guy but then sends him a text message at 7:50 p.m. saying she can’t make an 8 o’clock dinner. Ouch.
But if that girl knows how to play the game – when to seduce her man and when to let him long for her – she’s got it made. She’ll have whatever she wants from the guy whenever she wants. It’s the reason guys rip on this type of girl to their guy friends, but secretly wish they were with her instead.