Whoopi’s Pisstory Lesson

Leaking the truth about Cleopatra, the Mona Lisa model and more.

-The Betty Editors

We really thought Whoopi had lost her edge once she signed on as a cohost on The View. (Not that we don’t like Babs and her posse, but they can be a little, um, tame.) But for hysterical outrageousness, Whoopi’s commercials for pads to battle Light Bladder Leakage (LBL) equal anything she’s done in the past (think of Fontaine, amiable former drug addict, in the show Fontaine…Why Am I Straight?).

In videos promoting the pad, Whoopi channels everyone from Eve (you know, the one from the Garden of Eden) to Cleopatra and the title character from that beloved fairy tale The Princess and the Pee. And girls, you can actually learn something from them. Looks like one out of every three women accidentally sprays when they sneeze, laugh hard, exercise or even get hugged or squeezed.

That’s LBL, or as Whoopi calls it, spritz. It bugs women of every age, and according to history as recounted by W. Goldberg, it’s bugged women throughout every age. “I don’t want to be painted,” snaps the model for the Mona Lisa. “I want to be dry!”

But the good news is that you can do something about it. Kegel exercises strengthen your pelvic floor muscles and prevent leakage. (Bonus: they also increase your ability to have orgasms.) To do the exercises, squeeze as if you want to stop your urine flow in mid-stream. Doing these exercises for 5 minutes at a time, 3 times a day, can lower or even eliminate your leakage.

Read The 4 Most Embarrassing Problems “Down There”

Other steps:
*Keep your weight normal
*Avoid spicy foods that can irritate your bladder
*Cut back on caffeinated drinks, which can make you produce more urine
*Regularly empty your bladder
*Wear a pantiliner or pad on days when you know you might not be able to frequently get to a bathroom

And don’t be embarrassed to talk about it with your girlfriends. After all, if it happened to Cleopatra, you’re in pretty good company!