There are always tiny little nuggets of wisdom between the pages of men’s magazines – the trick, for women, is finding them. If you happened to pick up one of the May issues (and how could you not, with hotties like Jake Gyllenhaal, Ryan Phillippe and Alexander Skarsgard on the covers), you may have found some of these gems yourself. But for those of you who haven’t gotten there yet, here’s a big juicy list of what we discovered about men this month from their favorite reads.

1. They like us best when we’re manly.
The results for “The Esquire Survey of the American Woman” are in, and let’s just say they’re noteworthy. In a summary of their findings, “Women, You’re Hard to Get to Know,” the Esquire editors had the following to say about men’s overall tastes: “You look better to us when you drink beer out of the bottle, when you play bass guitar in an otherwise all-male band, when you wear cotton briefs rather than a thong and when you wear clear nail polish or none at all. You also look awesome in a flannel shirt. Apparently, you look best to us when you look like a man – specifically, a drunk lumberjack with rhythm.” Right. So does this mean that all men are kind of sexually confused?

Read What We Learned from Men’s Magazines in April

2. They have no idea what Robert Downey Jr. is talking about – ever.
Robert Downey Jr. may be a very talented actor, but some of his friends wish he came with a translator. In Stephen Rodrick’s interview with the star for Men’s Journal, “Robert Downey Jr.’s Cosmic Punishment,” RDJ’s co-stars, including Don Cheadle and Guy Ritchie, admit the Iron Man 2 star speaks in riddles. Says Ritchie, “Do I have any idea what the f*** [Downey Jr.] is talking about most of the time? No f***ing way. He f***ing rants, sounds very clever and then I have to tell him: ‘Repeat that, but this time f***ing speak English.’” RDJ should just hang out with us – he wouldn’t have to speak at all.

3. They think wearing a T-shirt is an art form.
Most women wear T-shirts on our “off days” – when we don’t want to make the effort to dress up. For guys, they're a wardrobe staple, and apparently, there’s even some skill involved in wearing one properly. In “Building a Better T-Shirt,” Maxim editors share their knowledge about tees and pick out the softest ones they could find – since apparently, we ladies just can’t resist rubbing our hands all over a soft T-shirt. Little do they know it’s what’s under the shirt that we’re interested in. (Ooh, is that a six-pack?!).