What Men Really Want: Everything You Need to Know About Oral Sex
Real guys open up about their biggest turn-ons and turn-offs.


Updated on May 18, 2011, 5:25 pm ET
By Zoe Turner    Find in Love+Sex    Related videos | articles | comments | share it

Everything You Need to Know About Oral Sex

Like most women, I have my insecurities when it comes to sex. However, none of them have ever had much to do with whether or not I was a good lover... and especially, whether or not I give good head. Still, I've had my fair share of experiences when I've wondered if the person I'm in bed with might have been disappointed.

I was recently talking with my boyfriend about oral sex, and it ended up leading to an enlightening discussion about this subject with him and a few of his closest male friends. So as not to confuse things (i.e., there's more than one "John" in my life), and in an effort to be economical, I'm not going to attach names to the following comments; I simply want to pass along the info I gathered in an effort to help all of us who have occasionally left our partners wanting more (or, perhaps, less).

Not so surprisingly, when I asked if giving head is important to guys, the response was: "Besides world peace, what could be more important?!" Turns out that the men I spoke with also prefer when we get right down to business: "I think there’s something about a woman being direct that makes me feel more comfortable," said one. "It shows a lack of inhibition which makes me feel more at ease. You have to remember, there's a certain element of self-consciousness involved in receiving oral sex; and if I'm not mistaken, women experience this too." (Agreed!).

Read 5 Biggest First-Time Sex Mistakes

The guys also mentioned how most women seem to suffer from the misconception that the penis is similar to the vagina, in terms of sensitivity. OK, I can't really disagree here, either, and it's completely preposterous! When you consider the size and strength of a man's hand, grip and arm when masturbating, you can imagine they're a lot firmer with themselves than we are.

"A lot of stuff women do – the light kissing, the soft touching with the tip of the tongue – we can't even feel that stuff. I think maybe it feels good to them, but it just doesn't deliver enough pressure to register a sensation for us," explains one guy. OK, got it. But are there any limits? "Nothing you do down there is going to hurt me – except using your teeth!"

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uptowngirl
#1. uptowngirl on 04/20/2010 - 9:52 am (EDT)
It's great to get some insight from the guys
FBNYC
#2. FBNYC on 04/20/2010 - 10:10 am (EDT)
Wow, this is really revealing!
citymouse
#3. citymouse on 04/20/2010 - 11:11 am (EDT)
definitely picked up a few helpful tips here!
suzebair
#4. suzebair on 04/20/2010 - 2:39 pm (EDT)
women - pay attention to the vein... it's a good barometer LOL :)
bryony1
#5. bryony1 on 04/20/2010 - 2:41 pm (EDT)
This was supposed to be about oral sex, I thought. All it turns out to be is about giving head to men. Well, what about men giving head to women? They weren't even asked how they felt about it.

As for: "Besides world peace, what could be more important?!" How about mutual pleasure? How about making sure both partners have orgasm? No, not a chance for those things when the opinions of men you know are awfully damned selfish, they "perform" better with strangers -- what is the male "performance part of fellatio? The writer didn't call them on it, and you, Betty, just put it out here as if this were the end-all/be-all of this subject. I'd have capped down on them with a baseball bat.

I've noticed this site is getting more and more about how to please a man, cater to a man, suck off a man, look sexy in bed for a man, so I'm outta here.

Whatever happened to helping women develop themselves as individuals? What about their career concerns, other than office dating? What about anything that has to do with something to tell women, especially young ones, that everything relates to men.

It's sickening! If I can't find a way on your site to "unsubscribe" myself today, I want you to do it tomorrow.
bree44
#6. bree44 on 04/20/2010 - 5:03 pm (EDT)
I think this article was very useful! . I am constantly worried about performing fellatio but will def use the tips in this article Thnks!
buffyanne02
#7. buffyanne02 on 04/20/2010 - 5:14 pm (EDT)
Wo!@#$%w, bryony1! Take a step back, deep breaths. Close your eyes and count to ten or something. This website, just like any other, is targeting what their market is asking for. If women between 18-50 years old were all obsessed with cats, there'd be more articles about kittens and yarn than recipes, celebrities and sex.

The article is titled "What Men Really Want", not "What Men Really Want to Know about Pleasing You Orally". I personally found it informative...

I suppose I'm more curious about what the website was when you joined and what you were expecting. I've been on here since last fall and Betty hasn't really changed, other than growing in members.
Rickasha
#8. Rickasha on 04/20/2010 - 5:40 pm (EDT)
A woman need not be "skilled" to perform oral sex if one is lucky enough to have a natural penis.The foreskin has all the contact sensors and nothing left on the glans but some pressure sensitive ones.The head of the penis and the heel of the foot are the two least sensitive spots on the body.THe spot where the frenulum was removed and the scar line is about all that is left to respond to light contact. Oral sex should be mutual shared or forget it. Personally, I find it disgusting for guys to demand oral and to damn lazy to reciprocate. Especially when it takes them for ever to orgasm. Not their fault but rather American circ happy culture. Vaginal sex with simultaneous orgasms is the better way to go. Now if having a quickie between the ist and 10th floor in an elevator then oral will suffice.
Seriouslyomgno
#9. Seriouslyomgno on 04/20/2010 - 5:55 pm (EDT)
Bryony1 writes: "This was supposed to be about oral sex, I thought. All it turns out to be is about giving head to men."

The title of the article states: What Men Really Want: Everything You Need to Know About Oral Sex.

Again in slow motion, bit by bit. "All it turns out to be is about giving head to men."

"What Men Really Want..."

"...giving head to men."

"What Men Really Want: Everything You Need to Know About Oral Sex"

"What Men Really Want..."

"Men Really Want..."

"Men Really..."

"Men..."

The title tipped most of us off as to what this article would be about. That's what most titles do.

Byrony1's reaction in plain terms equates to this paraphrasing of the situation:

"THIS ARTICLE CALLED WHAT MEAN REALLY WANT: WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT ORAL SEX IS ABOUT MEN EXPLAINING WHAT THEY WANT ME TO KNOW ABOUT ORAL SEX! DAMN THEM FOR BEING CONSISTENT WITH THE POINT OF THE ARTICLE! ASS HOLES!"

Not only did we learn about what men like/dislike about oral sex as the title said this would be the topic of the article, but we also learned what happens to reading comprehension when you smoke crack. Case & point: Byrony1.
Sgt Heart
#10. Sgt Heart on 04/20/2010 - 7:02 pm (EDT)
To tell you the truth I don't need a woman to give me oral sex!!!!. Im 64(male). I would rather give her oral sex. Its not about me--Its about her(you.). I love you Ladies. Semper Fi

 


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