What Guys Really Talk About  

When the conversation turns to women, should we be worried?

-Faye Brennan

When we get together with the girls, it’s fun to talk about the men in our lives. We tell each other what cute things they did for us, what they do that royally pisses us off, and occasionally, we’ll even share the steamy details of a particularly hot night. It’s a way for us to bond, give advice and giggle a little at a man’s expense.

But, it makes you wonder, if we’re talking about this stuff, what in the world is being discussed downstairs in the man cave? Guys can only talk about sports for so long until the conversation inevitably turns to “Dude, my girl’s ass is starting to get too big.” Right?

With this in mind, we asked a bunch of real men to break their silence and tell us what’s really being discussed over beer and Monday Night Football. Brace yourself: Here’s what they had to say:

 “On any given night, I could be talking about my girlfriend's penchant for oral sex, or how we're trying to set time/space boundaries so as not to smother each other. I do think that being an adult means being somewhat discreet, but that’s not to say that I don't get bawdy with my guy friends. Of course we talk about past hook-ups or which girl was the best at what, but I'd like to think that a sense of decorum is still maintained.” – Zachary, 26, New York

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“We don't say much more than, ‘She looks great naked,’ ‘has a great body,’ ‘great breasts,’ ‘is wild in bed,’ ‘is stiff in bed,’ etc. It’s all very general and brief.” – Ian Coburn, author of God is a Woman: Dating Disasters, 37, Chicago

“Friends that are close to me know if a date with someone new went well, how we spent our evening, and how attracted we found ourselves to each other. Occasionally, I’ll divulge intimate details, but only to very close friends who have known me for a long time.” – John, 27, New York

“Saying stupid things about women has no age barriers. When we let our guard down, and have a few beers, anything can happen. But truthfully, we don’t mean half the shit we say. Or remember it!” – Howard J. Morris, coauthor of Women Are Crazy, Men Are Stupid: The Simple Truth to a Complicated Relationship, 45, Los Angeles