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Octomom Update: Nadya Suleman Was a Stripper?

Nadya's latest antics - from Octodad to spy-nannies to her stint as a topless dancer

-Mean Betty

Mean Betty has tried to ignore recent new reports about Octomom and her antics, but Mean Betty just keeps getting sucked right back in. For those of you who might enjoy a brief recap (purely for anthropological and cultural purposes of course) ...

Octomom on Octodad:

Dangling a bit of juice in front of us gossip-lushes ... Nadya Suleman coyly chatted about the "real" Octodad recently. She divulged that he lives in California, is not of European descent, and is not a "civilian." She promised NEVER to reveal his identity. If Mean Betty were Octodad (perish the thought!), Mean Betty would be packing her bags for Timbuktu.

Nadya recalls telling this virile fellow about the seven (remember #8 was a surprise!) babies brewing in her belly of rubber:

"He was speechless; he couldn't talk. He couldn't even utter a word," she says. "He was angry at the doctor, I think, like everyone else. [He said] 'Doesn't that doctor know you have five children already?' I said, 'Yes, he's aware I have six of your children.' [He said], 'I forgot about the twins.' It was funny."

Hilarious!

Nannygate:

And ... the Angels are out! It's Octomom 1, Nannies 0. That's right, ladies and gentlemen, Nadya Suleman, whose total kid count at home is currently at 6 kids plus 4 newborns (that's TEN, pets - and counting!) has fired the free nurses who were sent to help look after the babies. Why, you ask? Perhaps, you surmise, Nadya grew several more sets of arms over the weekend? (Would you really be surprised?) Alas, nothing so exotic. The nannies got the boot BECAUSE THEY WERE SPIES OF COURSE.

Pardon the crude vernacular, but ... DUH Nadya, why else would they be there? Mean Betty wouldn't be surprised if one of them had a hidden camera in her apron, courtesy of Dr. Phil. We do know that one of nurses had the gall to file a complaint against Nadya with Child Protective Services, which would explain her prompt ousting. Mean Betty certainly is interested to see what could be on that report ... that we don't already KNOW.

So ... does this mean Octomom will be placing a help-wanted ad? You may recall we have a handy list of potential applicant questions (starting with ARE YOU CRAZY?).

In the meantime - speaking of Dr. Phil - he's devoting his show  tonight AND tomorrow night to the mother-of-all-ratings-boosters current plight of the Octuplets, so we'll get to hear from Nadya and the spy-nurses in what promises to be a good old-fashioned Jerry Springer style smackdown. Dr. Phil has released a snippet of Nadya's phone interview to whet our appetites:

"The primary issue was that myself [sic] and my nannies felt extremely uncomfortable. I personally felt like a stranger in my own home. The goal was to empower me as a mother, help me, train me. I'm open to that, I want that, I want to do the very best for these ... premature babies. I wanted them [AIW USA] to use their training and knowledge to help guide me. I felt that was never accomplished. I felt as though every time I tried to hold the babies, feed the babies, they would be observing and they were waiting for me to make a mistake."

Well, that certainly does sound unpleasant.

Now, you KNOW that Mean Betty does not like to jump to conclusions, but, according to Gloria Allred, Nadya initially turned down the offer of care from Angels in Waiting because they wouldn't let her film a reality show. Could it be ... an offer has arrived?

Mean Betty shudders to think.

And finally -the pièce de résistance ...

Nadya Admits She Was a Topless Dancer:

No, Mean Betty did not just make that up. Mean Betty has said it before and will probably say it again - she could not make this stuff up if she tried. Really.

If anyone made it up, it's The National Enquirer, who reports Nadya confessed her sordid past - or rather - two days in her sordid past - to a "friend."

Nadya explains, "I was 18 and at a very investigative stage of my life."

Well aren't you the curious one, Nadya! What's it like to be a stripper? What's it like to have 14 kids? Inquiring minds want to know!

"I had not even kissed a boy. But I entered a dance/lingerie contest in a club near my home. I danced and paraded in lingerie.

"Then, when I was 19, I went to a gentleman's club and performed as a topless dancer. But I only did it one night. I quit when I found out I was expected to perform lap dances on the customers."

Well.

Good to know she drew the line at lap dances. After all, a future Octomom has to have boundaries.

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