Dating

The Great Sleepover Debate

His place or hers?

-Carrie Seim

Ahhh - contemporary courtship. The flirting. The Googling. The ill-advised fourth cocktail. The classy my-place-or-yours conversation in front of a shimmering 7-11 at 3:00 in the morning.

The answer to that postcoital conundrum - as in, where are you going to actually sleep after you sleep together? - isn't such a big deal. At first. But as my pal Julia Allison discusses on NonSociety.com, post hook-up hangouts can cause serious hang-ups later on.

Equal time for equal play, you say? Well, according to her anecdotal research, not so much.

Based on emails she's received and a rigorously scientific poll of my three BFFs, couples almost always shack up at Chez Boy instead of at Chez Girl. In the words of my seventh-grade self: sooooo unfair!!

Julia and company have devised a hysterical (though incredibly useful) point system for determining your sleepover destination based on logistical rationales. Some of my favorites from their post-launch rubric include:

Whose bed is more comfortable? - 2 points - subtract 1 point if bed is double, 6 points if bed is twin or nonexistent (yes, this has happened), subtract 4 points if you're continually unclear as to when he (or, theoretically, she) last washed her sheets.

Who has roommates? - subtract 3 points for roommates, 1 more if they're fucking annoying.

Add 2 points for women who wear makeup/have contacts/like to wash their face with all of their potions and products. Add another 2 points if she's wearing a dress and heels for a dinner out and has to go to work in the morning, so thus has to pack an overnight bag.

I'm going to make Julia's A.S.S. (Apartment Sleepover Selector) a new benchmark in my dating progress reports.

Friend: How's that new guy you're dating, Carrie?

Carrie: He was great, but he failed his A.S.S.'s.

Friend: Oh, no. I'm so sorry.

Carrie: Me, too. Me, too.

Should couples split their nights between apartments equally? Where would you rather spend the night? Has the great sleepover debate ever caused problems in your relationship?