The Six Types of Cheaters
An expert reveals that there are different kinds of cheaters. Guess which one Tiger Woods is.
-Carrie Seim
Did you know there are six different types of cheaters? Funny – all this time we thought there was only one: the low-down dirty scoundrel type.
But Dr. Doug Weiss, president of the American Association for Sex Addiction Therapy and founder of the counseling site SexAddict.com, explains to BettyConfidential that cheaters come in six varieties. And while not all cheaters are sex addicts, Dr. Weiss implies that serial cheaters, in particular, may have sex addiction issues.
Before we check out that sex-fueled six-pack, we asked Dr. Weiss for his thoughts on the Tiger Woods Cheater’s Open, which is still very much in play. (Tiger’s tally of alleged infidelities has now reached 14. AshleyMadison.com, the infamous dating site dedicated to cheaters, even offered Tiger a $5 million endorsement deal, according to TMZ.com.)
Read Tiger Woods Cheating Scandal Grows, More Women Come Forward
So is Tiger’s wandering golf club the result of a man with so much power and influence he thought he could have whatever – and whomever – he wanted?
“It doesn’t have anything to do with success or fame; garbage men and plumbers…are cheating too,” says Dr. Weiss. “Sexual addiction runs the gamut of every color, race and wage.”
Dr. Weiss, himself a recovering sex addict who’s appeared on Oprah, says that no one is a lost cause, however. “They can all get better,” he insists, “they just have to want to.”
So what about those six types of cheaters – and where does he think Tiger falls? Dr. Weiss explains in an interview and through excerpts of his new book, Addicted to Adultery: The Other Reason Spouses Cheat:
1. The Hunter Cheater
They are looking for the weak, needy or another sex addict for a quick hit. They tend to have pickup lines or a clear modus operandi to capture their prey. The hunter is rarely looking for an equal, because an equal could hurt them. This could be a doctor or lawyer whose prey is the secretary, waitress or woman at a bar. They tend to be the smart, successful, smooth-talking guy who exudes a certain sexual or narcissistic energy. It’s all about them and their needs. The stench of entitlement is also present in the hunter’s heart.
Whoa – can we have Tiger for $2,000, Alex? Dr. Weiss says Tiger clearly fits the hunter pattern, seeking a very specific prototype of woman who is young, beautiful, thin, in-shape and willing.
“These were not multimillionaire women, not big sports stars, not actresses,” Dr. Weiss says of the women Tiger allegedly targeted. “None of these women had power; they were not threats.”
2. The Hero/Nice Guy Cheater
This is the person who “wants to help.” They want to rescue the maiden in distress, so to speak. This person wants to be a friend to their victim, talk about the victim’s life, marriage, kids or job. The hero/nice guy’s adulterous heart is quick to praise, quick to appreciate and quick to pick up on cues as to whether you are starting to trust them. They get excited when the victim trusts them, because they are close to the kill. Even after sex, they want to be seen by the victim and themselves as a nice person.
“Heroes want a woman to tell them, ‘You’re wonderful,’” explains Dr. Weiss.
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six types of cheaters, cheater, type, kind, cheat, Tiger Woods, Elin Nordegren, wife, husband, affair, Doug Weiss, sex
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What about men that have a wife that won’t or can’t have sex. Should they also not have sex. Is it not possible to love someone and want them in your life but have no sex life with them for over 1000 reasons? I’m not married and I’m young and in very good shape so marriage is the last thing I want however someone has to stick up for married men. THERE ARE GOOD REASONS TO CHEAT. DEAL WITH IT!
In France for instance taking a mistress, whilst not maybe an ideal situation is not normally sufficient grounds for a woman to decide to file for a divorce and it is accepted as a possibility by much of society.
There are also predatory women out there who are equally skilled at obtaining what they want from men by using their natural abilities in the most seductive way. There are also occasions when desire not lust is overwhelming as the sexual drive is one of the most powerful and primordial forces on earth.
"Cheating" is a modern adjective which implies not playing by the "rules" and as such only takes the rules into account. There is always an underlying reason for it and from the man's point of view this is rarely to intentionally cause their partner harm. The fact that they do is only because society has stuck its head in the sand and imposed expectations beyond what a large proportion of men can tolerate or abide by.
It is a little like the subject of prostitution, it is there, it happens, it will always happen to a proportion of people or relationships. If it cannot be condoned then it should be dealt with realistically and with a degree of understanding regardless of which partner it is.
Infidelity makes raw nerves of things like trust, self respect, self worth and ego identity. People who have been cheated on often have difficulty trusting again. They either avoid relationships altogether or become detached serial-daters. People who have been cheated on are afraid of being hurt again.
In a strange twist many people who have been cheated on cling to the person who has betrayed them. It is a devil-you-know mentality. People who have been cheated on feel that they could never trust a new person so they are better off staying with somebody they know and hoping that person will change. The change they hope for rarely comes.