The Six Types of Cheaters
An expert reveals that there are different kinds of cheaters. Guess which one Tiger Woods is.


Updated on May 18, 2011, 5:19 pm ET
By Carrie Seim    Find in Love+Sex    Related videos | articles | comments | share it

Cheating

Did you know there are six different types of cheaters? Funny – all this time we thought there was only one: the low-down dirty scoundrel type.

But Dr. Doug Weiss, president of the American Association for Sex Addiction Therapy and founder of the counseling site SexAddict.com, explains to BettyConfidential that cheaters come in six varieties. And while not all cheaters are sex addicts, Dr. Weiss implies that serial cheaters, in particular, may have sex addiction issues.

Before we check out that sex-fueled six-pack, we asked Dr. Weiss for his thoughts on the Tiger Woods Cheater’s Open, which is still very much in play. (Tiger’s tally of alleged infidelities has now reached 14. AshleyMadison.com, the infamous dating site dedicated to cheaters, even offered Tiger a $5 million endorsement deal, according to TMZ.com.)

Read Tiger Woods Cheating Scandal Grows, More Women Come Forward

So is Tiger’s wandering golf club the result of a man with so much power and influence he thought he could have whatever – and whomever – he wanted?

Tiger Woods

“It doesn’t have anything to do with success or fame; garbage men and plumbers…are cheating too,” says Dr. Weiss. “Sexual addiction runs the gamut of every color, race and wage.”

Dr. Weiss, himself a recovering sex addict who’s appeared on Oprah, says that no one is a lost cause, however. “They can all get better,” he insists, “they just have to want to.”

So what about those six types of cheaters – and where does he think Tiger falls? Dr. Weiss explains in an interview and through excerpts of his new book, Addicted to Adultery: The Other Reason Spouses Cheat:

1. The Hunter Cheater

They are looking for the weak, needy or another sex addict for a quick hit. They tend to have pickup lines or a clear modus operandi to capture their prey. The hunter is rarely looking for an equal, because an equal could hurt them. This could be a doctor or lawyer whose prey is the secretary, waitress or woman at a bar. They tend to be the smart, successful, smooth-talking guy who exudes a certain sexual or narcissistic energy. It’s all about them and their needs. The stench of entitlement is also present in the hunter’s heart.

Whoa – can we have Tiger for $2,000, Alex? Dr. Weiss says Tiger clearly fits the hunter pattern, seeking a very specific prototype of woman who is young, beautiful, thin, in-shape and willing.

“These were not multimillionaire women, not big sports stars, not actresses,” Dr. Weiss says of the women Tiger allegedly targeted. “None of these women had power; they were not threats.”

2. The Hero/Nice Guy Cheater

This is the person who “wants to help.” They want to rescue the maiden in distress, so to speak. This person wants to be a friend to their victim, talk about the victim’s life, marriage, kids or job. The hero/nice guy’s adulterous heart is quick to praise, quick to appreciate and quick to pick up on cues as to whether you are starting to trust them. They get excited when the victim trusts them, because they are close to the kill. Even after sex, they want to be seen by the victim and themselves as a nice person.

“Heroes want a woman to tell them, ‘You’re wonderful,’” explains Dr. Weiss.

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keithjdunk
#1. keithjdunk on 12/22/2009 - 7:08 pm (EST)
Very good article. Right on target and informative the way the six different types are broken down. I was surprized and happy to hear Elin voice her opinion of disgust that Tiger hasn't checked into some type of rehab. This reaction means she still cares. Objections are always a sign of interest. I felt that there was still hope if Elin was still interested, which from her objections she still is or was. His vacation plans to the Bahamas with some buddies tells me he has another addiction besides sex. Maybe Dr. Weiss can tell us what the probability of Tiger even caring about his family is right now when he is addicted to a drug or medication. Personaly, from what I have seen in alcoholics family has very little influence over a chemical addiction. I think most spouses would come crawling back if it was just a sex partner. I would also like Dr. Weiss to explain, why someone like Tiger will not leave one partner without having another one (Rachel) in hand. Surely she (Rachel) knows, down the road she will be the next victim.

keith
sam King
#2. sam King on 12/28/2009 - 7:31 am (EST)
I joined just so I can add my comment. This article is written buy someone that decided one day to make up a bunch of stuff about men. Yes men sometimes cheat. Yes Women cheat. This article and so many of its pseudo physiologies is a bunch of nonsense designed to make weak minded reader think they are hearing something intelligent. I can make 20 types of cheaters how about 30. All I will say is there is another side to this silly article. Oh yeah leave tiger ALONE its none of your business what he does. DO YOU KNOW HOW HIS WIFE TREATS HIM!!!! IF YOU DON’T THEN SHUT IT . ITS NOT YOUR BUSINESS!!!
What about men that have a wife that won’t or can’t have sex. Should they also not have sex. Is it not possible to love someone and want them in your life but have no sex life with them for over 1000 reasons? I’m not married and I’m young and in very good shape so marriage is the last thing I want however someone has to stick up for married men. THERE ARE GOOD REASONS TO CHEAT. DEAL WITH IT!
Ladyehawk
#3. Ladyehawk on 12/28/2009 - 9:55 am (EST)
I was married to the same man for 25 years and sex wasn't great. He was often not in the mood. I did nothing but love him. I was as supportive of him as any wife could be and he turned around and cheated on me!! I was the one who initiated sex most of the time. I finally left him. I didn't cheat on him. If you love someone, there is NEVER a good reason to cheat!!!
naturalstyle
#4. naturalstyle on 12/29/2009 - 11:45 am (EST)
All the comments so far assume premeditation and that everyone both men and women for that matter have equal needs, expectations and control over their feelings and emotions. It is very easy to judge in the cold light of day what is right and wrong according to the current conventions.

In France for instance taking a mistress, whilst not maybe an ideal situation is not normally sufficient grounds for a woman to decide to file for a divorce and it is accepted as a possibility by much of society.

There are also predatory women out there who are equally skilled at obtaining what they want from men by using their natural abilities in the most seductive way. There are also occasions when desire not lust is overwhelming as the sexual drive is one of the most powerful and primordial forces on earth.

"Cheating" is a modern adjective which implies not playing by the "rules" and as such only takes the rules into account. There is always an underlying reason for it and from the man's point of view this is rarely to intentionally cause their partner harm. The fact that they do is only because society has stuck its head in the sand and imposed expectations beyond what a large proportion of men can tolerate or abide by.

It is a little like the subject of prostitution, it is there, it happens, it will always happen to a proportion of people or relationships. If it cannot be condoned then it should be dealt with realistically and with a degree of understanding regardless of which partner it is.
relationshipexpert
#5. relationshipexpert on 01/25/2010 - 11:13 pm (EST)
Being cheated on by a person you love and trust is incredibly hurtful. When you are cheated on it impacts the core of how you interact with people.

Infidelity makes raw nerves of things like trust, self respect, self worth and ego identity. People who have been cheated on often have difficulty trusting again. They either avoid relationships altogether or become detached serial-daters. People who have been cheated on are afraid of being hurt again.

In a strange twist many people who have been cheated on cling to the person who has betrayed them. It is a devil-you-know mentality. People who have been cheated on feel that they could never trust a new person so they are better off staying with somebody they know and hoping that person will change. The change they hope for rarely comes.

 


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