People Who Drive Us Crazy at the Gym

From close walkers to exhibitionists, the gym members who annoy the hell out of us.

-Amy Levin-Epstein

Going to the gym is generally not at the top of most American’s lists of favorite things to do. If it was, our country probably wouldn’t be suffering from a 35 percent obesity rate and The Biggest Loser wouldn’t have attracted 10 million viewers for its recent season premiere. But for many of us who strive to be thinner, stronger and perhaps more centered, we hit the elliptical, weight room and yoga mat. At times, it’s cathartic. But too often, the gym becomes less of a sanctuary and more like a petri dish of unseemly characters. And no, we’re not referring to lecherous locker room peeping Toms or flirty fitness trainers. We’re talking about fellow members with behavior that can zap the endorphins right out of you.

Meet the eight most annoying gym-goers:

The Close Walker There are 10 other treadmills in the gym. They are all currently unused. So why do you always choose the one next to me? Were you recently separated from a Siamese twin and need to be close to someone? Get your own personal space, please. Note: Particularly insufferable members of this contingent are the competitive treadmill types, e.g. a Close Walker who will sneak a peak at your speed, calories or distance, and adjust accordingly. 

Mr. Pigpen It’s true — we’re not at the opera and maybe a little bit of manly sweat shows you’re working hard. But if we can smell you from 10 yards away, we’re guessing you haven’t washed those gym clothes since your high school wrestling days. We need all the help we can get with catching our breath, so please don’t pollute the freshness of our oxygen — wash your clothes, wear deodorant and, lastly, wipe down the machines after use.