Your Career Coach

Office Dating in a Downturn

Dear Michele,

I am dating a great guy who happens to work at the same company where I work. We've been together about 10 months and everything is going great. We're discreet at work but the company is OK with staff dating. The problem is that my guy is totally freaked out that he's going to be laid off. Sometimes it gets so bad that I get upset and worried, too. Since I work in HR, he's always after me to tell him the "inside scoop" about lay off plans, etc. I can't do that -- or I will get fired. How do I manage this weird situation?

-- Office Romance

Dear Ro,

(Channeling my best Beyonce): Boyfriend better back off is all I'm
gonna say.

Honestly, if your boyfriend is so freaked out that he'd put your job at risk -- what does that say about his judgment and true caring for you? Sure, we all have times when our fears get completely out of whack and this may be one of those times for Boyfriend, but ... he needs to lay off. And you need to tell him, firmly, to lay off.

Put on your professional HR hat and talk to him just like you'd talk with any other employee who made that kind of request. And if he persists, with that timeworn old line, "But if you really loooooooved me..." then you have a bigger concern to handle -- you've got a manipulator in your life. And if he succeeds in getting inside info out of you, where and when will the manipulation stop, honey? Tell it to him straight, that you like him/care for him/love him/are aware how
worried he is, but you're not going to put your job in jeopardy by sharing information. End. Of. Story. Snap.