Mean Betty

Octomom, Mel Gibson, Tori Spelling and the Obama Puppy

The week in review

-Mean Betty

My, my, what a week. First we were confronted with naked "celebrities" in Allure, then soothed with makeup-less celebrities on the cover of French Elle. (Vive la France.) Mean Betty, by the way, did not write that scathing condemnation of Allure - she might have, but she was too busy trying to figure out who everyone except Padma was.

In other news ...

Octomom Strikes Again

JUST yesterday morning, Mean Betty kids you not, Mean Betty was thinking we haven't heard much from old Octomom lately. Ha! Mean Betty clearly was not paying attention (or was too blinded by naked and makeup-less women), because Nadya's been just as busy as a little bee lately. First off, it looks as if there will be, after all, the inevitable reality show. Only don't call it a reality show - it's actually a "documentary." Of her poor kids' ENTIRE LIVES. Yes, my precious ones, Mean Betty's blood truly ran cold when she read Octomom's description of the project:

"What I'm doing with this TV show is basically creating documentaries about the lives of my children. It's going to be an ongoing thing, and it will follow them from now until they are 18."

But ... they won't be 18 for another ... 18 years! Mean Betty does not think she can survive 18 more years of Octomom. Doesn't she know her 15 minutes are almost up? Isn't she done torturing her children?

Apparently not, since the other astonishing news is that Octomom wants to trademark "Octomom." Yes. TRADEMARK. And what will she do with such a trademark? Why, put it on her BABY GOODS, of course! Because what mom doesn't want to dress their precious children in OCTOMOM brand onesies?

She's a shrewd one, that Octomom. Or should Mean Betty say ... Octomom^TM.

Check out what Mean Betty had to say about Caroline Kennedy's latest rejection!

Mel Gibson - Who Cares?

Mean Betty has a vague recollection of having a childhood crush on Mel Gibson, but honestly, these days, does anyone CARE he's getting a divorce? He seems more and more like that crazy disheveled nut-case he played in that movie with Julia Roberts about a million years ago - where he played a dirty taxi-driver. The Jews hate him, the MADD moms hate him ... the only one really interested in this divorce, surely, is his wife (can you say "no pre-nup"?). A side note - are all his new girlfriends Russian? Or what? They all seem to be named Oksana and be half his age - guess their attraction to Mel makes sense after growing up with anti-Semitic fascist dictators.

Tori Spelling's Lethal Backbone

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Tori Spelling is a skinny girl these days. Perhaps it was the thought of trying to get back into her 90210 clothes that spurred her on, but Mean Betty can tell you it's true. Mean Betty saw Tori a couple months ago at the Christian Soriano show during NYC fashion week. Tori and her mini-entourage passed right by Mean Betty after the show (Mean Betty always goes incognito, dears) and truly, Tori looked as if a sharp wind could blow her away. Most importantly -- her backbone made Mean Betty nervous. It was a lethal thing. Does she keep it that way in case her mom ever gives her a hug?

The Long Awaited Obama Puppy

Can you possibly not have heard? The Obama girls finally got their puppy. Mean Betty is thrilled Barack finally delivered on his promise, simply and only so Mean Betty never has to read another word about this dog.

Read Mean Betty's take on Megan Fox, Nicholas Cage, and Michelle Obama!

So what does Mean Betty want to know about Bo? Nothing, my dears. The puppy has taken up residence in the White House, and hopefully we won't have to hear about it again until it, inevitably, publishes its own book.

Photo Source 1, 2, 3, 4