Hello, kittens! Have you found your purrrfect Halloween costume yet? Still deciding between slutty vampire and slutty box of Cheerios? You could always “shop your closet” and go as an old fashioned slutty slut. Hmmmm, not sure what made Mean Betty think of that costume for you …

Fine, fine, Mean Betty will save the day with some brilliant D-I-Y costume solutions. In this age of scrimping and saving, why splurge on a store-bought slutty wagon wheel costume when you can make your own?

For a bit of creative costume inspiration, Mean Betty has turned to the spookiest celebrities she’s encountered this year. And you thought Mean Betty wasn’t crafty!

Costume #1: Kate Gosselin

What you’ll need:

==> 8 matching dolls that whine when you pull their strings

==> A spiky mullet that says: “Mom in the front; party in the back”

==> “Kate Plus 8” T-shirt

==> A highlighted bank statement and the ability to sob on cue

Partner costume suggestion:

==> Hot bodyguard

Costume #2: Jon Gosselin

What you’ll need:

==> Ed Hardy T-shirt, hat, jeans, underwear, socks and “man-purse”

==> Bald spot and unnaturally white teeth

==> “TLC can suck my hair plugs!” sign

==> The ability to crack into email and bank accounts

==> The inability to realize the world will notice when you crack into their emails and bank accounts

Partner costume suggestion:

==> Barely legal babysitter

Costume # 3: Balloon Boy

What you’ll need:

==> Cardboard box

==> Mylar UFO-shaped balloon

==> Fake vomit

==> Attic hiding spot

Partner costume suggestion:

==> Freakish storm-chasing father willing to sell out his 6-year-old for a few minutes of reality TV fame