Dearest pets, are you getting as tired as Mean Betty is of hearing poor Mariah Carey complain about how “ugly” they made her for the upcoming film Precious? Doesn’t Mariah know … Ugly = Oscar?! That’s how we know actresses are doing a good job – and being so brave! – right, kittens? Because, as we all know, unlike our special, glamorous celebrities, “real people” are … ugly!

               Read Mean Betty on A-Rod and Kate Hudson

Lest Mariah forget that fact, let us take a quick tour of her predecessors, those trail-blazing actresses who dared to dress down for the sake of Art.

Of course we simply must start with ….

Charlize Theron, Poster Girl of Actresses Gone Ugly, in Monster

Take a gander at Charlize as serial killer … and then Charlize as her REAL MOVIE STAR SELF, collecting her Oscar!



Look at that acting! Mean Betty hasn’t actually seen the movie but she just knows it’s brill.

(Though, dears, please don’t tell Charlize Mean Betty put her on this list. Charlize gets very peeved when it’s suggested that she actually seeks out roles where she gets the glorious freedom of being ugly!)

Nicole Kidman as Virginia Woolf in The Hours



Why, just regard that unflattering, fake nose. Such a bold move for a woman blessed with as perfect a natural nose as anyone could ever hope for. (Why else did they cast Nicole to play the lead in Bewitched – a two-hour ode to a ski-slope nose of magical wish fulfillment?)

Renée Zellweger as “Plump” Bridget Jones



Alas, only nominations, no little golden man, for this role. Perhaps for the next installment of Bridget Jones, instead of merely packing on a few pounds, Renée can wear some fake buckteeth. What do you think, pets?