Please, kittens, Mean Betty begs you … MAKE IT STOP!! No more Post Baby Bikini Body covers! Mean Betty can’t take it any more. Mean Betty is going to have to attempt the unthinkable if this nauseating trend keeps up … and stop reading tabloids! (Nooooo!)

Our latest “miracle” cover girl is new mom Kourtney Kardashian, who, a mere four months after giving birth to baby Mason Dash, donned a bikini and stepped in front of the cameras for Life & Style. (Not incidentally, this makes the third week in a row Life & Style has given us a Kardashian in a bikini on their cover.)

Read Mean Betty's Octo Update and Kate Gosselin and Nadya Suleman

Inside Kourtney reveals her “10 Secrets” to getting into post-baby bikini shape. They include such groundbreaking, revolutionary concepts as “eating fresh food” and – gasp! – going running!!

WHO KNEW?

But surprisingly none of those “secrets” makes any mention of Photoshop, professional lighting – or, for that matter, personal trainers, or nannies to take care of the baby while she tends to important matters like getting spray-tanned and going to the gym. Very mysterious!

Truly kittens, Mean Betty is fed up with these covers. First of all, Mean Betty must ask you, darlings – WHO CARES? Do you? And second of all – we all KNOW it’s fake, right pets? We KNOW all about airbrushing and Photoshop. Kourtney probably does look pretty close to the way she’s depicted in that picture, but it’s sure as heck not exactly what she looks like.