Khloe Kardashian Hasn’t Met Her Stepchildren

Would we expect anything less from a shotgun wedding enthusiast? On Planet Earth it is something of a tradition to introduce your children to your new wifey in a timely fashion – generally before the “wedding.” Well dearest pets, it appears that basketball stud Lamar Odom did not get the memo.

Mr. Shotgun has let slip that his lady love Khloe Kardashian has yet to meet the kiddies, which has Mean Betty’s panties in quite a twist seeing as the pair “wed” nearly a month ago.

Lamar, clearly trying to cover his finely toned buttocks, made sure to tell E! News that a meet and greet is most definitely in the works. If Mean Betty were one of the athlete’s offspring, she would be VERY afraid of Mama Khloe (why has daddy been hiding her for so long?).

Carnie Wilson Plans to Bore Us to Death

Pets, please explain to Mean Betty why it is that every time she turns around another no-name celeb has landed his own reality series. The idea of Pillsbury Doughboy wannabe Kevin Federline sweatin’ it out on Celebrity Fit Club was horrifying enough, but now Mean Betty has to face Carnie Wilson week in and week out? Say it isn’t so, kittens!

The host of GSN’s The Newlywed Game is to star on a reality show titled Carnie Wilson: Unstapled (Get it? Because she underwent gastric-bypass surgery a decade ago? … Uggh, how delightfully tacky.).

The snoozefest series will center on Wilson’s life as a mother, her determination to drop 50 pounds worth of baby weight, and her potentially promising baking career. Oh sorry, did Mean Betty just put you to sleep? Please forgive.

After reading up on the surefire hit, Mean Betty feels compelled to ask -- why can’t anyone worthwhile obtain a reality show contract? Goodness, Mean Betty would consider it herself if Mean Betty didn’t like to be caught without her makeup. Mean Betty would simply love to see Tom & Katie teach little Suri all about the wonders of Scientology, or watch Brad go into panic attack mode upon receiving a text from dear old Jen while Angie seethes nearby, wouldn’t you? Ah, the possibilities are endless …