John Mayer has given his usual diarrhea of the mouth interview – this time to Rolling Stone. There are many, many amusing tidbits in the article but perhaps the best is the part where John, ever a gentleman, says about breaking up with Jennifer Aniston, “I'm the a—hole.”

Well, yes, John, we already all know that. But why is it you feel the need to keep talking about it? UsMagazine.com reports that John goes on to say, of his behavior, “I burned the American flag. I basically murdered an ideal.”

Read Mean Betty on Martha Stewart's Stripper Pole

Um, John dear, Mean Betty hates to rain on your little “I’m the Extra-Special Center of the World” parade, but two celebrities breaking up is not exactly a huge loss of morale for the American public … BELIEVE IT OR NOT.

The poor thing admits that he has “never really gotten over” the breakup(s) with Jen. “It was one of the worst times of my life.”

The would-be Romeo laments that lately, though he’s on the hunt for the “Joshua Tree of Vaginas” (which, apparently is Mayer-speak for “life partner.” Kittens, Mean Betty couldn’t make this stuff up!), it’s been just so hard to pick up girls in clubs lately.

“Blowing me off is the new sucking me off!” he eloquently states.

Mean Betty can’t imagine why!

Finally, the shirtless wonder confesses that he really can’t get Jen out of his tiny brain. In fact, his ex pops into that strange giant head of his whenever he’s meeting new women.